Wall Street Lady’s LynnNChicago Blogs

Wall Street Lady contributed fairly regularly to the LynnNChicago Blogs.  Below are some of the ones I saved over the years.

RIP Lee Henessee/WSL.

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October 23, 2011 – WSL at the Chum’s Birthday Party

My black limo pulled up at 12:30 pm on Sunday. The driver got on the FDR Drive and went South to Cobble Hill Brooklyn b4 the Wall St. area you make a loop off the FDR and go East across the Brooklyn Bridge to Brooklyn .I wish I could tell you directions to the Cobble Hill area but it was only my 2nd time in Brooklyn.

Cobble Hill is filled w/beautiful old historic town houses. These historic  town houses are 3-4 floors ,usually having 2 rooms per floor. Most r about 25′ wide and many “attached” houses share a wall with the house next to it so most don’t have windows on the longest part of the house.

I arrived for Johan & Francois’ party on time at 1pm. There were lots of balloons tied on the railing on the steps. There were pumpkins on every step & the pumpkin smell was very inviting herd laughter & saw the door wasn’t locked so I walked in.

At least 15 kids were darting around mostly running downstairs and out to the two-story blow up jumping/bouncing “kid ride”. The living room was just  like what we saw when Fog Horn helped Alex & Simon decorate. The difference was that the red walls are not so bright but a pretty deep red. The black & white accents do not dominant the room as seen on TV but compliment. The beautiful hand carved molding s are exceptionally elegant.  Jill should be put in the hall of shame for suggesting that they be removed when she offered advice (stupidity). It was ignorant to suggest removing historic art whose value is irreplaceable.

Cobble Hill Brooklyn is known for its beautiful historic homes & most home owners decorate around the beautiful carvings. There are 2 wonderful chandeliers that also add to the charm. It is a lovely combination of old & new that blends together to create a very cool look & feel. The dining room which was entered thru gigantic carved pocket doors, had deep grey walls and had an Art Deco feel. The large glass table had 8 retro suede rolled back chairs. The second black crystal chandelier hung over the table.    All the floors had the beautiful 6″ planks painted black ,w/a cool sheen. Alex’s kitchen was to die for. A restaurant, 8 burner stove sat atop a bakers oven. The appliances were stainless steel. All looked great against the black wooden floors. There  were three 10′ blond wood cabinets  that all NY ers would covet. There was a large island of blond wood  that everyone gathered around.

The very long (completed) wooden stair case led to 2 bedrooms and an office. The boys had  typical bunk beds and a room Filled w/toys & books & art projects.
The master bed room was huge. It had brownish red or mahogany floors & walls. Everything reflected order & peace with the very clean lines. There were beautiful black and white portraits hanging on the wall. Of course there was a very large walk in closet full of arty clothes picked out by Simon    There was a large glass door that led to the garden/playground (complete w/swings).
Back to the party. The adults had Mimosa’s.  Alex baked delicious Australian meat & vegetable pastries.
The children had a fun display of juice boxes & kid snacks on the dining room hunt board. The boys & girls could help themselves.
I enjoyed a couple of hours of adult conversation while the kids ran in & out & visited their parents for a hug etc.

I talked to a very attractive man for a while & finally asked him which was his wife ? He answered “My wife has a penis !”. The surrounding group & I all roared w/laughter as we were gathered round the kitchen island. I commented that the 3 birthday parties in the last BH show that the birthday parties were not as fun as this even if it didn’t cost $60 000. No one responded.  Alex gave me a look w/her eyes letting me know  to stop. Then she whispered in my ear that no one here watched the shows. She said to these neighbors & friends she & Simon were just the parents of their boys.

Later Alex introduced me to a bubbly gal & said “She watches”. We had a fun chat but mostly about non house wife topics. Next there was a magician who gave a fun magic show  that entertained us all. He was particularly good at making things disappear. The children squealed w/delight. Finally Alex brought out a chocolate fudge cake & parents & kids devoured it.
I was very impressed w/how well-behaved the boys were. They were told that their present’s were to be opened after everyone left.
If it had been me at that age I would have gone around & told people to “Go home”.
After 3 1/2 hrs my car was outside.  I got a sweet hug from the boys. Simon & Alex said good by.  I look forward to more fun times with a very sweet & fun family.

By:  Wall St Lady

Thank you Wall St Lady for this amazing story, it made me feel like I was there with you. ~Lynn

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Wall Street Lady visits Jill Zarin at Lord and Taylor

Guest Blog by Wall St Lady

Last Thursday one of my friends who is one of the highest product  sales generators on QVC popped in town from NC. Ms QVC is fun and beautiful.  Her publicist had several events for her to attend.I have never met Jill.  Except for my friend who sold her Hamptons home to Jill, I have never met one person outside of  Ramona, Alex and LuAnn, that has ever met Jill !  I do know people who have had to interview her.  I have met Bobby years ago and I knew Harry Zarin because he bought stocks from me in the 80s.

Ms QVC wants to go to Lord &Taylor so I agree to go for 20 minutes.  I did want to report how many trees of girdles were on the Lord & Taylor floor.  We learned there was no stage, no chairs no food for the promoted “Fashion show”.  The event was in the regular store aisles.

Jill had announced on Show Biz and another NYC station details of the event.  On Thursday morning, Jill was allowed to mention her big launch on both shows but was 1st subjected to insulting questions like :
You were fired ! How does it feel to be fired ?

Jill Zarin ! She is the most loved or HATED Housewife.
To that Jill said: “Hated?  Nobody hates me!  Who hates me ?”
The hosts just laughed at her statement.

Anyway the free TV promos by Jill on TV should have brought 100ssssss of peeps.  Ms QVC and I arrive at L&T 5th Ave at 6ish (4 blocks from my office).  L&T is having a store wide party!  They are passing out champagne as you enter the store and loud music is playing on every floor.  The entire store has a 25% discount.

When we walk into the 1st floor, with it’s makeup, bags and jewelry, several people recognize my beautiful QVC star friend. We get delayed as she signs autographs and talks to fans.

I wore a Chanel tam and a new black St John suit with a small panther trim.  Ms QVC has a bright blue sparkle top under a navy leather Escada pants suit.

Finally we took the elevator to the 8th floor and among the normal 100 trees,  Jill has a logo board.  We see 40 people or so around her
4 trees.  Jill is in a white “Dr girdle” coat and is encouraging people to focus on her 4 trees.

There are 3 size 2 models in her girdle wear. I was embarrassed for them. They were girdle clad but it was just my 1st time seeing models in only underwear in mixed company.

Ok I am ready to leave but Jill’s people keep popping up asking if they can help and who are you to attendees ?  I totally respect that. When I spend the money for an investment event my team better greet and get the card of every attendee !

Jill is TINY ! She is 5′ in flats. Her bangs look like she cut them by putting a bowl on her head. She looks very tired and in my opinion really needs some natural vitamin E. (Dr Wexler do her for free !)  She darted around like a rat in a maze. She had high energy and she was “working it”.

There is a 10 -min presentation given by Jill in front of her portable logo board.  Jill  introduces herself and describes the models items and thanks everyone, but no one by name.

I look up and one of Jill’s assistants is saying loudly that a BiG announcement is coming!  I say congratulations.  This Jill employee is standing with whom I presume is friends one is beautiful gal who tried out for QVC model job and Ms QVC says she will help her try again.  We chat.  30 min in, I am ready to leave !

I turn around and Jill says “Hi, can I help you?”  “No?”  “Why are you here?”   I say my friend, a QVC star, thought it would be fun to include your show in her itinerary tonight. Good night, thank you Jill, we have to go. We left and apparently missed LuAnn.

We go to another event and then are the guests of a 42yr old superstar from NC who had a “Cover of NYT Biz section” article 3 weeks ago that I was dying to meet!  Thank You Ms QVC!
Believe it or not I told him about Lynn’s blog and they have a telephone appointment next week!!

We ate Fab Greek food. (Last time I was there Maria Bartoromo took me to celebrate an interview we did)

2am my cell phone rings; caller ID says unknown.

2:30 cell rings I see the number and say hello thinking it’s Ms QVC from her hotel.

A 30ish year old voice screams, “we didn’t like your old ugly black hat  (it was brown) and your out dated Chanel suit.  We had the security cameras on.”  (Yes, rigged on top of one of the girdle trees in case an angry XX Ho Wife fan jumped Jill)
Then she started to scream , “This is going to stop right now. This is the end.”
I started to laugh.
A crazy woman was calling at 2:30 in the morning; I couldn’t help but laugh at her and she hung up.

So much for the 3rd grand girdle Jill event.  I can guarantee you I will never waste my time again for a Jill event with not even a carrot!
BTW I was the only press there.  Jill did hire Getty to take pictures but they did not come as press.

I don’t tweet or FB.  I can barely keep up with 100 daily business google alerts!  I only view other websites posted by my LynnFam.
But my alerts do send me to twitter on topics or people I follow.

I wanted to respond to a 2am call and a tweet posted here referring to my vintage Chanel tam.

If you missed the tweet, it doesn’t matter.  It made me laugh that Jill would let Ginger chew a hat she could sell on E Bay for $500.  Please  let me share some history.

Get comfortable for a long story or SKIP now !

My grandmother’s sister was a friend of CoCo Chanel. My Aunt is mentioned in several books about Chanel’s life.  My Aunt trained Miriam Haskel as Miriam worked for her for many many years.
This history has granted me a wonderful vintage collection of Chanel and other designers and collectors treasures.

I have worn vintage pieces all my adult life.  I have hats and jewelry as well as clothes  purses and gloves.

In Palm Beach I have an entire hat room. I wouldn’t leave the house with out a hat!  I also own 100′s of hair bands, many with feathers and all evening bands have a place to pin one of my favorite brooches. I have made many of my hair bands myself  and have designed many as gifts requested by my Palm Beach girlfriends. Very often before a charity luncheon at Marlargo, The Everglades, Club Collette, the Breakers, the Bath and Tennis Club or other popular party sites; several of my friends will come over to borrow a hat. I am delighted! Before a Polo game I insist they borrow or I won’t sit with them.

I own the black feather hat Audrey Hepburn wore in “Breakfast at Tiffanys.”

One of the things I love about Palm Beach is that people wear gowns till they can’t and then their daughters do.  Ralph Lauren or Lipshick, copied his furniture look from studying “cottages” (20-30+rooms) in Newport that hadn’t been redecorated  in 30 years.
When I buy a new gown I put it in the closet for two years !

Remember how Tre said Joe didn’t like Picasso and Andy said “with all due respect Tre he couldn’t afford one even if he liked one………..”

Well I laugh someone  doesn’t know the different between vintage
and old fashioned.

Vintage appreciates with time.

Jill’s Items purchased for $100 and sold for $10, on eBay are out of date or old fashioned.  Ginger chews old fashioned hats !
Would you let your dog  “Lick your snot” and Poop on your bed room rug?  That is called old fashioned trash living !

Thank you Wall St Lady for your fascinating story!  That 2am phone call is pretty mysterious, does anyone else have a guess where that call may have come from?  Lynn~

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Wall Street Lady goes to WWHL

March 16, 2012 – WSL at Watch What Happens Live

The studio is downtown in So Ho, it is not in a typical area for studios.  I almost couldn’t find it. I am sure if I had taken a cab I would have eventually been told “this is the address just get out”.

Anyway Michael eventually came to the street to find me. It was 10:30 when we went up the elevator to the 6th floor of a relatively new, modern building. There was a busy bar lined with bottles (plenty of SkinnyGirl) as we walked in that was surrounded by lots of attractive young people. I grabbed a diet coke and added a lemon for decoration. The 2 lady bartenders were PYTs! There were also lots of snacks.

It was obvious to me I had entered a happy place that celebrates Team Bravo. Down a hallway we reached a room 1/2 the size of a football field, filled with desks. The ceilings were very high which adds to the Great Room feeling.  Everybody is an “Andyite”.  There are housewife/Bravo promo cardboard or otherwise, things sitting up everywhere in this modern mostly white space. It is obvious Andy is the hero and they all adore him. The large room is surrounded by some 20×20 type rooms or private offices.

It’s interesting in my Wall Street world we call the inside large room the “Bull Pen”. We were guided to an outside room to meet up with Kristen and her other 3 guests. We laughed and teased Kristen about herbeautiful navy sexy dress. She is shy about how pretty she is.  She prefers to jump into her black pants and comfy shirt uniform. Kristen has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. It’s 3xs the amount of most women. What a burden! (Sideline she and Alex use the same hair guy, and I had him cut my locks too)!
Game time!

We are suddenly told 5 min to show time and we are all wisked off to the clubhouse including Kristen.  We travel through the opposite end of the “bull pen” past 4 offices. Again each is filled with Bravo press items. It’s like a winning  sports team, you can just feel the MAJOR Team Bravo spirit and admiration for their leader, Andy.

There must have been 30  Bravo Staff around. Again you could just tell they all loved the honor of being part of Andy’s team and displayed the gracious hospitality that Andy displays in person.  No one acted freaked because it was show time. It was as if you were escorted to a fine meal.

So we go down a narrow hallway that suddenly becomes dark and winds around until it opens up into the Club House which is bright and fun!  The shelves are full of fun but unusual things. I think there were 20 of us. Rich Amons was the only person I recognized, he is very handsome.

We are escorted to front row seats and I am delighted! Some seats are benches. Michael took a bench so that I got a chair; such a gentleman!

Andy’s seat was 12′ from my seat. Remember I saw him on Monday at the book party and a few weeks ago at the Slam event so by know he remembers me and he came over and welcomed me and said “Hi WSL”.  We have a private joke!

Another thought on Andy, a little background.  The first time I met Andy was with Lynn at Cat’s book party. Andy was hunky and handsome I wanted to hug him and I have a major hunk hub and I have no shortage of hugs! Andy has lost another 20 pounds since that time. He looks gorgeous GQ on TV but I think he is too thin. I Know the saying “You can’t be too rich or too thin”.

OK
So you saw the show so I won’t try to top perfection.
Jenni stood the whole time. She is much taller than I thought 5’8″. She also wore 5″ wedge heels.

During breaks the pretty young bartenders refreshed our drinks and the crowd was buzzed and having fun!  When the after show ended I was tired.  I thanked Andy and told Andy how fun I thought the show was.

Then I asked Andy “where is Ramona Turtle?”
He laughed and said “Turtle Soup”!

By now it’s past my bed time and WSM is texing: Come Home. I am going to bed DON’T WAKE me !
So I hugged Jenni, Kristin & Michael nitey nite.

I walked out with Rich Amons and his friend.  When I met his wife Mary at Cat’s party.
I was stunned at how gorgeous she was because she was not on camera. She is tall at 5’11″.
Rich was in NYC on  business. He is also a perfect gentleman and helped me into a cab. I was grateful because that area is deserted at night.

Thanks Kristen, Michael and Andy!

P.S.  All the twitter gals pea green w/envy.  Be a lady! and maybe you will be INVITED.

 (WSL Photos w/Andy Cohen and Kristen taken at different events, WSL didn’t stay for photos after the show)

Thanks so much for the fascinating blogs WSL, I am so jealous!  I wish I could have been there.  I’m so glad you both had fun!   xoxo  Lynn

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Real Housewives of New York Season 5 Premiere Night

Posted on June 5, 2012 by LynnNChicago

Real Housewives of New York Premiere by LynnNChicago  – WSL Guest Blog

As I promised, we had a few spies at the Premiere Parties for the Real Housewives of New York.

Luann hosted a party, Ramona and Sonja hosted another and Aviva hosted a third.  Some interesting info on these parties:

She who much not be named went to Luann’s party as an invited guest but then she CRASHED Aviva’s party that was held at a bowling alley.  Confirmed, Jill was NOT invited to Aviva’s party yet she attended anyway. (note from NMD – sort of an invited guest – a guest of a guest as it turned out.)

LuAnn was cordial. Her party was only about 40-50 people. Intimate. She brought her mom.

Avery and Mario were with Ramona at her party.

Here’s a play by play (part one) from our own WSL….

The Evening’s Party Schedule for NYC HW Season 5 launch.
Luann
Iraquois Lantern  5pm

Ramona
Seraina 7pm

Aviva Dreschers
Frames  8pm

Oh What a night!
So fun!
The President was in town so the traffic was a mess!
Dr Rosetta plastic surgeon to the stars jointed me and TEB.
At our 1st stop LuAnn her beau and her mom were front and center looking beautiful. The lantern room at the Iraquois Hotel is charming but small and holds about 50 people but everyone was elegant. I enjoyed talking to Luann’s very French- Canadian mom. She is 5’6″ and very cute her husband passed several years ago. She wore a beautiful royal blue and silver shift w/peacock looking large dangling earnings that were perfect for the dress. Quite elegant style. She said Luann was the 6th of 7 equally special children who are all tall. Her Dad’s dad was 100% American Indian. Her mom has lovely soft features and light hair. I didn’t feel comfortable asking if it would be ok to put her picture on a blog. It’s interesting she was a lamb a sneaky reporter could have asked her anything!

There were lots of reporters for lots of “papers” that I vaguely have heard of. For some reason we were snapped what seemed like a zillion times.
We were at the bar and Jill and Bobby came up. TEB teased me to say hello. I couldn’t be bothered, I saw Heather and wanted to say hello. So I made a bee-line for Heather.
My brother dates one of Heathers College suite mates.  She said Heather was always cool, lovely, stylish and very fun. We chatted, exchanged contacts and hugged. She is a DOLL!
The food was to die for and very artistically presented. It was like eating art!
Time flys!
Ready to hit the next PARTY!

Stay tuned …

Real Housewives of New York -Part 2 The Premiere Parties by WSL

 

Before we left Luann’s I said hi to Carole Radziwill very briefly and took a picture.

I called our driver and let him know we were ready for him to be out front . We decided that TEB would have to ride the hump since she was the youngest! The traffic was SLOW so we all hopped on Twitter!

It took 20 minutes to reach Sarafina so we were ready for a drink when we got there. Ramona’s wine was in big buckets and iced on the bar. The place had 160+ people and was packed.

I saw Avery and some of her pals. She has gotten so tall, maybe 5’7″. Ramona is petite at 5’4′ she had on gorgeous gold sparklie platform shoes. Avery had young lady pumps. Avery has natural blond hair that is thick. We call it “rich girl hair”. Avery was cute as she scurried around with her pals. She constantly checked on her mom who was taking hundreds of pictures with Sonja at the step and repeat.

Sarafina is a wonderful restaurant, the appetizers were excellent. The bite size lamb chops w/sauce were a little messy but way worth it. There was one treat on a skewer w/watermelon/cheese/meat that looked yummy and people licked their fingers but I never got around to eating!

I finally got a chance to hug my favorite Ramona. I adore Ramona. She doesn’t like to tweet so we text each other.  A while back I asked if Jill was coming and she text “NO WAY”! I laughed.

I think Bravo wanted the focus to be the current cast w/no “stars” taking the focus away from the cast.  I think it was selfish for Jill to crash Luann’s and Aviva’s parties.  At the entrance to each party there were 3-4 people with lists. The clip board holders were diligent to find your name and mark it off. I am sure the door people were not sure what to do with Jill. She appeared with Bobby just like she did on Scary Island, ASSUMING she was welcome when she wasn’t or she would have been invited.

If it was OK to come you would have thought Simon & Alex and Kelly would also have just shown up.  I think Jill knew better than to show up at Ramona’s. On Scary Island, Ramona made Jill leave even though she rented a plane to get there.

Hummm. Nothing changes!

So back to my divine Ramona hug. She smelled sooo good. Ramona is tiny. Her waist must be 19″.  She is cute like a puppy and I feel like putting her in my pocket to take home. She had on a gorgeous blue dress. With Ramona’s big brown eyes and no wrinkles I think she has the face of an angel. Mario is always close at hand. He is very handsome and not a lot taller than Ramona. We joked that I am married to an Italian Stallion too. Mario has lots of beautiful hair but it has gotten much more salt and pepper recently.

I saw several writers I know. The most famous was a Sr. fellow from Vanity Fair.

We just didn’t get close enough to Sonya to chat. TEB commented that Sonya was much prettier in person.

Time to hit the last party which was a very upscale bowling Alley. When we entered there was a 25′ hallway. So we are going in and guess who is coming out?  Yep Jill and Bobby.

Because I had been teased by my group for not acknowledging them and since I had to pass within a foot of Jilzy, I said our famous Italian family greeting:
A OH Eeeeeeeeee!
When I told WSM he didn’t think it was funny but he is also not aware of her sananigans.  Any way what can I say it just popped out!

We entered the party and probably half the folks had left cuz it was late.
It was very cool looking. Each alley had the Housewives show playing above the bowling pins on the play screen.

TEB knew Aviva and Rob of Naughty Nice. There were lots of hugs.
I talked to Aviva’s attractive Wall St. Husband, I was happy that he knew my company. We talked “street”. Aviva is darling!  She has a button nose only God can make.  Her hub looks close in age where the X Sonja knows looks 10+yrs older. They seem very in love. Aviva has a size minus 00 butt. She was wearing pants and her legs are the size of my very normal arms. You couldn’t help but like her. She is warm and genuine. Her brown eyes are as sweet as a lab’s.

I asked her if she wasn’t the one who called 2 gals “white trash”. (I happen to love that name)! She actually seemed to apologize and wish she hadn’t said it. At this point it seems out of character but that’s the fun, seeing the witches pop up!

Rob. (Shuter from Huffington Post)

Now first, Jill was NOT his date.
He heard Aviva say the same thing I heard! Nuff said.
I explained that we met when he moderated Teresa’s Annex presentation.

Rob is a big hunk. He may have the most beautiful head of hair I have ever seen. It’s too bad he isn’t straight, I think he is VERY handsome. He is one of those people who like to touch you as he expresses enthusiasm, it is endearing.  He was very personable and mentioned his husband lovingly.

Time to go home! I miss WSM!
We hopped in my car and left the live Housewives behind us.
What a privilege to have seen and met everybody. They all really give of themselves.

I DON’T PRETEND to be a writer but since I don’t talk to each of you I want to share.
I hope I shed a little extra light to my precious LynnFam.
Xxxooo

Thank you WSL, sounds like you all had a fantastic evening!  Wish I could have been there! xoxo Lynn~

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Those are the ones I saved from Lynn’s old blog.  RIP WSL and Lynn Hudson.  Veena

Wall Street Lady has Passed Away

Wall Street Lady (WSL) was a regular poster on the LynnNChicago and LynnFam blogs, and a very good friend to Lynn Hudson.  She passed away last night in Florida. You can read more about it here.

Lee and I didn’t always see eye to eye.  I received many confusing and often accusatory emails from her over the years I hosted the LynnFam blog, and ultimately ended up blocking her from both my personal email and the blog.

But at the end of the day I hope she has found some sort of peace.

Veena

Million Dollar Listing New York – Finale

Million Dollar Listing New York by NotInStCyr

Once again, we see Ryan rallying the troops.  After a little groveling, he was able to convince his wine-swilling client, Roger, to give him another chance after the sale of the townhouse in Iggy Azalea (Soho, for the uninitiated) fell through.  Ryan is determined not to give his client the satisfaction of firing him.  So, he’s finagled Roger’s Rolodex out of him, and he’s having the NestSeeker team cold call the 2,000 people on it.

Since Zach Vella refused to fund a state-of-the-art sales gallery, Fredrik is doing everything he can to give potential buyers a sense of what they can expect to see at 290 West.  This time around, he’s steering clear of the construction site and, instead, is  meeting people in the showroom of the kitchen cabinet manufacturer.  The finishes are extraordinary, but prospective buyers willing to shell out millions of dollars for these units are pretty persnickety.

Luis has arranged to meet Ryan in Cipriani’s vault room.  For RHONY fans, this is the same place where Sonja hosted a party and apparently forgot to wear panties.  If I could, I’d scrub that memory right out of my brain.  I really resent the fact it occupies needed space in there. Why do I remember Sonja’s lack of underwear and not my wi-fi password?  Any way, Ryan represents the owner of the last unit needed to complete the buy-out of the entire 12^th floor planned by Ian Reisner and Luis.  Luis offered $1.5 million for Unit E-F, and Ryan outrageously countered at $7 million.  Luis thinks Ryan is delusional, asking him, “How can I give you a number when you are on Planet Jupiter?”  Ryan is playing a long game, so he lowers the asking price only by $2 million.  This, in turn, frustrates Luis even more, prompting him to say, “You start at outrageous and end at ridiculous!”  Ryan is hugely enjoying himself and decides to dig into the food while Luis seethes at the other end of the table.  Finally, Ryan gets up and moves into the seat next to Luis and lays his final, no bs demand:  it’s $4 million or nothing.  After Luis tells him he’ll only go up to $2.5 million, Ryan walks out of the vault.

Big Al drives Fredrik to a meeting with Vella to give him an update on the sales efforts for 290 West.  Fredrik tells him that he got 4 offers during the boat cruise, including one for one of the penthouses.  He then netted another 2 with his off-site sales strategy.  For those of you keeping score, that means Fredrik has sold out 50% of the building already. You’d think Vella would be happy and Fredrik would be leg kicking.  But no — Vella says those sales only cover the bank debt.  Unexpectedly, Fredrik brings up the outcome of the great egg hunt and asks Vella to be Milla’s godfather.  That finally makes Vella crack a smile.  He goes to get a bottle of champagne to celebrate.  Fredrik explains that he feels close to Vella.  They’ve worked together for 5 years on a dozen projects, and Vella was one of only 2 developers invited to his wedding.  BTW, Fredrik wrote his blog on his way to Vella’s wedding in a castle in Ireland.  Mazel tov!

Ryan goes to a hotel to meet with Roger about the Soho townhouse.  The NestSeeker team hit pay dirt with Roger’s Rolodex, which yielded 2 prospective buyers.  A former tennis buddy is offering $7 million.  Just when Roger starts to work himself up into a state of indignation, Ryan lets him know that another friend is willing to pay $10 million for the house.  Roger cools down and accepts the larger bid.  Ryan says that is the kind of deal that’s given him prematurely grey hair.  Don’t feel too sorry for him. He’ll be able to buy plenty of Just For Men hair coloring with the large commission he’s taking home for representing both the seller and the buyer.  Roger orders a $4,500 bottle of wine that Ryan insists is not coming out of his commission.

Luis meets with Reisner, who resumes calling him “Ricky”.  I wouldn’t blame Luis if he babalooed Reisner out onto the Central Park South sidewalk. Luis keeps his cool and informs Reisner about Ryan’s ridiculous demand for $4 million for the last unit on the floor.  Luis decides to call Ryan’s bluff and hold a party, ostensibly to begin marketing the $25 million apartment.  The only problem is, it’s not a $25 million apartment without Ryan’s client’s space.  Reisner, who can’t help himself, says, “Ricky, you have some selling to do!”

Fredrik is back at the raw construction space at 290 West to check on the arrangements made for a meeting with his “most important client”. A table is set for dinner for 2 and a harpist strums dreamily in the background.  I was wondering if Fredrik was wooing a celebrity, oligarch or business mogul, but then someone sprinkled rose petals all over the concrete floor.  That can only be for the paint-splattered perfection that is Derek, the yin to Fredrik’s “whee!”  They walk over to the not yet glassed-in windows that overlook the Hudson River.  This will also be the view that Milla will enjoy from her crib, because Fredrik has bought the 3 bedroom apartment.   Derek doesn’t seem too surprised, so this was probably worked out beforehand.  Fredrik is grateful to have his hard work rewarded by success and, more importantly, to have found Derek after being alone for so many years.  He’s also lucky that Derek’s main interest is in being a strong family man.

Luis is still playing real estate chicken with Ryan.  He’s gone ahead with the “launch” party, which is really a ruse to make Ryan think that they’re going ahead with the development of the Central Park South mega apartment.  As he mingles amongst the guests, Luis keeps an eye out for the arrival of his nemesis, who he made sure was invited.  Ryan strolls in late, completely aware of Luis’ gambit and thinking that the expense of the party could have been avoided if Luis had just contacted him directly.  After a little chit chat, Ryan cuts to the chase.  Even though we’re treated to a flashback in which Ryan’s client says he’s willing to accept $2.5 million, Ryan tells Luis that he’ll shake on a $3 million deal.  Luis accepts quickly, which makes Ryan wonder if he shouldn’t have held out for more.  Yet, all’s well that ends well, because Ryan gets a $90,000 commission and the pleasure of toying with Luis (priceless).  Luis, in turn, helps Reisner complete the buy-out of the 12^th floor.  Luis admits that he and Ryan have had a rocky relationship because they’re both very competitive, but he feels that they’re walking away with a lot of respect for each other.

It’s nighttime, and Emilia is taking Ryan to an unknown destination.  She won’t tell him what’s going on, so he asks if she bought him a pony.  LOL.  In his interview, he reminisces about the times he’s had.  He’s gone from being single (and a douchebag), to having a steady girlfriend and then a fiancé.  He’s enjoyed the unexpectedness of it all, saying that every year should be the craziest.  Emilia and Ryan end up at a high-end furniture store.  Ryan wants to know why they’re there, so Emilia explains that they have to buy a lot of furniture for that huge new apartment.  Yes, she’s turned down the offer to relocate to Switzerland.  She can get her cuckoos right there in New York.

The last scene we get is with Luis, who has bought spoons, plates and everything else necessary to host a dinner party in his apartment.  He can delegate more of his work, having hired more people for Team Luis.  Now he has more time to spend with friends and family.

This season, we’ve seen even more spectacular apartments tailored for the crème of the 1%.  I can’t help wondering if such outrageous opulence and wanton displays of wealth won’t stir the Occupy Wall Streeters into picking up their pitchforks again some day.  Remind me to look for my old college copy of Das Kapital.  The most gratifying part of the show has been seeing both Fredrik and Ryan humanized by love.  Fredrik seems less frantic and competitive.  His goal is no longer to be the top broker in the city, but to be a good husband and father.  There was a line in his blog that makes me think this could be his last year on the show, because of his shifted priorities.  Now, Ryan has practically evolved into another species.  He’s changed from primordial ooze into a decent human being capable of  love.  Emilia, the Ryan tamer, has performed a Lourdes-like miracle by drawing out the goodness that is in him.  I sense that he wants to be the best that he can be for her.  Good luck to both couples.  Although 2 of the 3 brokers have paired off, Luis is not ready for the ark yet.  He’s also dialing down his frenetic energy and allowing himself some down time for himself.  I’ve been a little harsh on him, because I don’t think he operates at the same level as Fredrik and Ryan.  However, Luis’s drive and ingenuity should take him there eventually.

Thank you to Veena for allowing me to do my first recaps on Lynn’s Place.  Veena has been terrific – I’ll miss this site, but she is deserving of a break. Thank you so much, Veena, for this opportunity.  I also appreciate the patience you all have shown with my ramblings.  Your kind comments made my day more than once.  Thanks!

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Thank you NoinStCry for such fantastic blogging!  See everyone at www.snackingandsnarking.com !

 

 
Once again, we see Ryan rallying the troops.  After a little groveling, he was able to convince his wine-swilling client, Roger, to give him another chance after the sale of the townhouse in Iggy Azalea (Soho, for the uninitiated) fell through.  Ryan is determined not to give his client the satisfaction of firing him.  So, he’s finagled Roger’s Rolodex out of him, and he’s having the NestSeeker team cold call the 2,000 people on it.

 

 

Since Zach Vella refused to fund a state-of-the-art sales gallery, Fredrik is doing everything he can to give potential buyers a sense of what they can expect to see at 290 West.  This time around, he’s steering clear of the construction site and, instead, is  meeting people in the showroom of the kitchen cabinet manufacturer.  The finishes are extraordinary, but prospective buyers willing to shell out millions of dollars for these units are pretty persnickety.

 

 

 

 

 

Luis has arranged to meet Ryan in Cipriani’s vault room.  For RHONY fans, this is the same place where Sonja hosted a party and apparently forgot to wear panties.  If I could, I’d scrub that memory right out of my brain.  I really resent the fact it occupies needed space in there. Why do I remember Sonja’s lack of underwear and not my wi-fi password?  Any way, Ryan represents the owner of the last unit needed to complete the buy-out of the entire 12^th floor planned by Ian Reisner and Luis.  Luis offered $1.5 million for Unit E-F, and Ryan outrageously countered at $7 million.  Luis thinks Ryan is delusional, asking him, “How can I give you a number when you are on Planet Jupiter?”  Ryan is playing a long game, so he lowers the asking price only by $2 million.  This, in turn, frustrates Luis even more, prompting him to say, “You start at outrageous and end at ridiculous!”  Ryan is hugely enjoying himself and decides to dig into the food while Luis seethes at the other end of the table.  Finally, Ryan gets up and moves into the seat next to Luis and lays his final, no bs demand:  it’s $4 million or nothing.  After Luis tells him he’ll only go up to $2.5 million, Ryan walks out of the vault.

 

Big Al drives Fredrik to a meeting with Vella to give him an update on the sales efforts for 290 West.  Fredrik tells him that he got 4 offers during the boat cruise, including one for one of the penthouses.  He then netted another 2 with his off-site sales strategy.  For those of you keeping score, that means Fredrik has sold out 50% of the building already. You’d think Vella would be happy and Fredrik would be leg kicking.  But no — Vella says those sales only cover the bank debt.  Unexpectedly, Fredrik brings up the outcome of the great egg hunt and asks Vella to be Milla’s godfather.  That finally makes Vella crack a smile.  He goes to get a bottle of champagne to celebrate.  Fredrik explains that he feels close to Vella.  They’ve worked together for 5 years on a dozen projects, and Vella was one of only 2 developers invited to his wedding.  BTW, Fredrik wrote his blog on his way to Vella’s wedding in a castle in Ireland.  Mazel tov!

 

Ryan goes to a hotel to meet with Roger about the Soho townhouse.  The NestSeeker team hit pay dirt with Roger’s Rolodex, which yielded 2 prospective buyers.  A former tennis buddy is offering $7 million.  Just when Roger starts to work himself up into a state of indignation, Ryan lets him know that another friend is willing to pay $10 million for the house.  Roger cools down and accepts the larger bid.  Ryan says that is the kind of deal that’s given him prematurely grey hair.  Don’t feel too sorry for him. He’ll be able to buy plenty of Just For Men hair coloring with the large commission he’s taking home for representing both the seller and the buyer.  Roger orders a $4,500 bottle of wine that Ryan insists is not coming out of his commission.

 

Luis meets with Reisner, who resumes calling him “Ricky”.  I wouldn’t blame Luis if he babalooed Reisner out onto the Central Park South sidewalk. Luis keeps his cool and informs Reisner about Ryan’s ridiculous demand for $4 million for the last unit on the floor.  Luis decides to call Ryan’s bluff and hold a party, ostensibly to begin marketing the $25 million apartment.  The only problem is, it’s not a $25 million apartment without Ryan’s client’s space.  Reisner, who can’t help himself, says, “Ricky, you have some selling to do!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fredrik is back at the raw construction space at 290 West to check on the arrangements made for a meeting with his “most important client”. A table is set for dinner for 2 and a harpist strums dreamily in the background.  I was wondering if Fredrik was wooing a celebrity, oligarch or business mogul, but then someone sprinkled rose petals all over the concrete floor.  That can only be for the paint-splattered perfection that is Derek, the yin to Fredrik’s “whee!”  They walk over to the not yet glassed-in windows that overlook the Hudson River.  This will also be the view that Milla will enjoy from her crib, because Fredrik has bought the 3 bedroom apartment.   Derek doesn’t seem too surprised, so this was probably worked out beforehand.  Fredrik is grateful to have his hard work rewarded by success and, more importantly, to have found Derek after being alone for so many years.  He’s also lucky that Derek’s main interest is in being a strong family man.

 

Luis is still playing real estate chicken with Ryan.  He’s gone ahead with the “launch” party, which is really a ruse to make Ryan think that they’re going ahead with the development of the Central Park South mega apartment.  As he mingles amongst the guests, Luis keeps an eye out for the arrival of his nemesis, who he made sure was invited.  Ryan strolls in late, completely aware of Luis’ gambit and thinking that the expense of the party could have been avoided if Luis had just contacted him directly.  After a little chit chat, Ryan cuts to the chase.  Even though we’re treated to a flashback in which Ryan’s client says he’s willing to accept $2.5 million, Ryan tells Luis that he’ll shake on a $3 million deal.  Luis accepts quickly, which makes Ryan wonder if he shouldn’t have held out for more.  Yet, all’s well that ends well, because Ryan gets a $90,000 commission and the pleasure of toying with Luis (priceless).  Luis, in turn, helps Reisner complete the buy-out of the 12^th floor.  Luis admits that he and Ryan have had a rocky relationship because they’re both very competitive, but he feels that they’re
walking away with a lot of respect for each other.

 

It’s nighttime, and Emilia is taking Ryan to an unknown destination.  She won’t tell him what’s going on, so he asks if she bought him a pony.  LOL.  In his interview, he reminisces about the times he’s had.  He’s gone from being single (and a douchebag), to having a steady girlfriend and then a fiancé.  He’s enjoyed the unexpectedness of it all, saying that every year should be the craziest.  Emilia and Ryan end up at a high-end furniture store.  Ryan wants to know why they’re there, so Emilia explains that they have to buy a lot of furniture for that huge new apartment.  Yes, she’s turned down the offer to relocate to Switzerland.  She can get her cuckoos right there in New York.

 

The last scene we get is with Luis, who has bought spoons, plates and everything else necessary to host a dinner party in his apartment.  He can delegate more of his work, having hired more people for Team Luis.  Now he has more time to spend with friends and family.

 

This season, we’ve seen even more spectacular apartments tailored for the crème of the 1%.  I can’t help wondering if such outrageous opulence and wanton displays of wealth won’t stir the Occupy Wall Streeters into picking up their pitchforks again some day.  Remind me to look for my old college copy of Das Kapital.  The most gratifying part of the show has been seeing both Fredrik and Ryan humanized by love.  Fredrik seems less frantic and competitive.  His goal is no longer to be the top broker in the city, but to be a good husband and father.  There was a line in his blog that makes me think this could be his last year on the show, because of his shifted priorities.  Now, Ryan has practically evolved into another species.  He’s changed from primordial ooze into a decent human being capable of  love.  Emilia, the Ryan tamer, has performed a Lourdes-like miracle by drawing out the goodness that is in him.  I sense that he wants to be the best that he can be for her.  Good luck to both couples.  Although 2 of the 3 brokers have paired off, Luis is not ready for the ark yet.  He’s also dialing down his frenetic energy and allowing himself some down time for himself.  I’ve been a little harsh on him, because I don’t think he operates at the same level as Fredrik and Ryan.  However, Luis’s drive and ingenuity should take him there eventually.

 

Thank you to Veena for allowing me to do my first recaps on Lynn’s Place.  Veena has been terrific – I’ll miss this site, but she is deserving of a break. Thank you so much, Veena, for this opportunity.  I also appreciate the patience you all have shown with my ramblings.  Your kind comments made my day more than once.  Thanks!

Million Dollar Listing NY Episode 11

Million Dollar Listing NY Season 4 – Episode 11 by NotInStCyr

For those of you who’ve been worried about the possibility of Puffer Munkin getting shipped off to the land of cuckoo clocks – sorry, but there will be no resolution in this episode.  This cliffhanger will probably get resolved in the finale.  However, if you happened to hang around the commercial break, you would have seen a short clip showing Emilia and Ryan together at the premiere of “While We’re Young”.  According to the IMDB, Ryan, who was formerly Evan Walsh on “As the World Turns” plays Hedge Fund Dave in Noah Baumbach’s latest movie starring Ben Stiller, Naomi Watts and Amanda Seyfried.

Fredrik is driven to 290 West by his driver, who’s been newly christened, “Big Al”.  BTW, West is the name of the street, not the direction. This is the newest project by Zach Vella, the developer with whom Fredrik works the most.  The new building will be divided into a few apartments and penthouses with floor-to-ceiling views of the city or the Hudson River.  Zach shows Fredrik one of the penthouses under construction.  The 1,600 sq. ft. duplex will have an outdoor terrace, a swimming pool and views of the Statue of Liberty.  The developer feels that since the waterfront views will never be obstructed, he can ask up to $2,900/sq. ft.  Surprisingly, Fredrik suggests they should up that to $3,100/sq. ft., and he starts to think about the marketing he’d like to do.  Zach interrupts Fredrik’s starry-eyed monologue, because he’d rather put the money into the building.  You may remember a few years back that Fredrik had to beg Vella to allow him to use his home for the launch party, probably because he was put on a low-budget leash back then, too.  If he sells out the 290 West building, Fredrik stands to make a $3 million commission.  Wowza.

Ryan is on his way to Soho, which he calls the Iggy Azalea of real estate.  Okay.  Roger owns a 3-story, 3,420 sq. ft. townhome that was built in 1930 and has 2 bedrooms, 5 baths, an elevator and a courtyard.  Prior to the listing pitch, Ryan did a little research and discovered that Roger also owns the air rights above his home, which would bring the total amount of available real estate to 6,000 sq. ft.  Apparently, invisible real estate is very valuable in New York.  The seller, who looks like a tough nut to crack, has outgrown the townhome and wants to list it for $11.5 million to $12 million.  Ryan doesn’t want to overprice the property and tells Roger that he could agree to the high price to get the listing and then, when no offers are forthcoming, come back and try to lower  the price.  Instead, Ryan would like to start at a lower number, with the understanding that he’ll negotiate for significantly more money above the asking price.  Roger agrees to this strategy.

Luis has a meeting with Ian Reisner, the developer who treated him badly in the past.  Reisner was an odd, obnoxious developer who took advantage of Luis’ eagerness to establish himself as a broker and harassed him constantly during a real estate deal a season or two ago.  He made inappropriate gay innuendos, forced Luis to pick up his laundry and insisted on calling him “Ricky Ricardo”.  Right off the bat, Reisner remarks that Luis is no longer “Rookie Ricardo” but “Ricky Ricardo”.  Ugh.  Luis asserts himself this time around and tells Reisner that he wants to be treated with respect, so no more Ricky Ricardo jokes.  I would have just hit Reisner on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Reisner bought three adjacent units in the 230 Central Park South building and wants to combine them to form one large apartment.  Better yet, if the rest of the floor can be bought out, he’d have a 3,000 sq. ft. apartment with its own elevator landing and 75 feet of windows overlooking Central Park.  Luis thinks such an apartment could be worth $25 million.  Reisner wants Luis’ help in acquiring the remaining 2 apartments for about $6 million.  Unlike developers like Zach Vella who build or redevelop buildings, Reisner just wants to corner the market on an entire floor of a building.  I’m surprised this is possible without getting permission from TPTB of 230 Central Park South.  You’d think that creating one extremely large apartment would change the building’s dynamics, making its owner an 800 lb. gorilla.  Anyway, if Reisner succeeds, Luis could get a commission of $750,000.

As we’ve learned, the luxury real estate market in New York is very competitive because there’s a surplus of product.  Developers are falling over themselves to offer the latest high-end amenities – like in-unit parking, private swimming pools and park-sized terraces – to attract buyers.  So, when people are being asked to pay exorbitant prices for apartments that don’t yet exist, they really want to see something more than just renderings. Last week, Fredrik was able to rake in over $40 million in sales, because the developers of 5 Beekman followed his recommendations and spent $2 million to create a state-of-the art sales gallery that helped people see what they would get for their money.  Vella’s refusal to invest in marketing ties Fredrik’s hands.  The only thing he can do is to be upbeat and charming while helping brokers and prospective buyers gingerly pick their way around porta potties, puddles, cables, lumber and other construction debris on the site.

Ryan hasn’t been able to get any offers for the Soho townhome.  The seller wants a lot of money for what is really a small, dark house.  So, Ryan gets creative and contacts some boutique developers who might be interested in demolishing the structure, exploiting the air rights and using the 6,000 sq. ft. of buildable space. Unfortunately, when Ryan presents an offer for $10.5 million, Roger tells him that it’s a “snore”.  Ryan contacts the prospective buyer’s broker and is able to get the bid raised to the more exciting amount of $11 million.  For getting the deal done and enduring Roger’s pretentiousness, Ryan gets a $330,000 commission and a bottle of wine.

Luis has already bought one of the units in the Central Park South building, because the owner was getting ready to move anyway.  However, he’s been unable to identify the owner of the last apartment on the floor.  All he knows is that the owner travels a lot and rented the apartment out back in 2003.  Fade to the NestSeeker’s office, where Ryan is approached by one of his colleagues, Ivy.  Wouldn’t you know it — Ivy has a friend who wants a broker to represent him, because he’s gotten a low ball offer from Luis for his apartment at (wait for it….) 230 Central Park South.  Yes, her “friend” is the elusive world traveler that Luis has been trying to track down.  What a coincidence — and in a city of 8.4 million people!  Oh Bravo.  You must think viewers are really stupid.  Actually – considering your lineup, I’m sure you do.  Ryan calls this a “gift from God”.

No doubt, with visions of a prospective client getting impaled by a stray I beam in mind, Fredrik has decided to spend $20,000 of his own money to host a launch party.  He’s hired a cruise boat that will swan around the Hudson River in front of 290 West to emphasize its water views.  He’s also invited Derek, as well as his friend, Lynn.  Fredrik tells us that he if he was straight, he’d marry her.  Derek pulls him away from the party and asks him to step outside.  With Lynn at his side and the Brooklyn Bridge in the background, Derek, paint-dappled perfection that he is, tells Fredrik that he and Lynn have been talking.  Lynn interrupts him and announces, excitedly, that the “3 of us should have a baby!”  For once, Fredrik is speechless.  Soon, hugs, toasts, shouts of excitement and jumps for joy abound.  The great egg hunt is over, and Milla Eklund is on her way.  However, if they happen to have a son, they probably should name him “Brooklyn”.

Ryan meets Michael, the mysterious owner of the last remaining apartment on the floor that Reisner and Luis are trying to acquire.  It turns out that Michael spends half of his year on a cattle ranch in Brazil.  Nonetheless, he loves his 1,600 sq. ft. apartment, which he created from two units, and he’s been renovating for the past year.  Unfortunately for him, new buildings under construction across the street will dramatically change his view.  He also knows that as the owner of the last unit in a buy-out, especially an apartment with unobstructed Central Park views, he’s in an enviable position.  He’s willing to sell, but he wants to make the developer overpay by $1 million. Ryan gets a blissful, Grinch-like smile on his face as he contemplates the “beauty of the buy-out”.  He promises Michael that he’ll “swing for the fences”.

Ryan is in his car, still savoring the thought of having Luis over a barrel.  Uh — that doesn’t sound right, but you know what I mean. As he calls Luis on his cell phone, Ryan says to himself, “You’re going to be glad you picked up the phone today”.  Wow, another coincidence!  Now, we’ve known Ronita – Luis’ long-suffering and indispensable assistant – to be loyal, wise and hard-working.  Yet, she chose to slack off at the exact moment Ryan calls Luis, forcing Luis to answer the phone himself.  Somewhere there is a Bravo memo that instructed its employees to assume viewers have the intelligence and gullibility of a duck-billed platypus.  Actually, I don’t know if platypuses (platypi?) are particularly dumb.  It just sounded funny.  My apologies if any semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammals were offended.  Speaking of mammals — Ryan tells Luis, who looks as if there’s something particularly unpleasant at the other end of the line, that he’d like to pick his brain about a listing he has — oh, on Central Park South.  This stuns Luis into silence, so Ryan asks with great concern, “Are you there…did I lose you?”  He explains to Luis that he has a client who owns the combination of 2 units on a floor that a developer is trying to buy out, and he’d like to price the property competitively.  Luis is holding a certain finger out as Ryan gloats and ends the call.  Luis then explodes and cries out, “you son of a b*tch!”.  Ryan, on the other hand, is smiling.  He says, “real estate is a sport, and I smell blood”.

Karma, on the other hand, is also a b*tch.  It’s Ryan’s turn to get a call on his cell phone.  According to Bravo’s timeline, this happened to happen right after Ryan and Luis’ conversation.  OK, platypi, let’s play along.  Oh look, it’s the broker for the buyer of the Soho property.  He tells Ryan that the deal is off, because his client just got arrested.  Hilariously, Ryan asks if he was “Bieber arrested” or “arrested arrested”.  The broker assures him that his client is a jailbird.  Uh oh.  Ryan phones his wine-swilling client, Roger, who’s in a good mood and wants to know how is “favorite broker” is doing.  Ryan tells him about the aborted deal.  Roger is not pleased and is probably frowning into his wine glass.  He wants to know, “What kind of buyer are you bringing me?”, as if Ryan had shown the townhome to members of the Medillin cartel.  Before Ryan can answer or spin the situation, Michael vows to bring in another broker and hangs up.  Enraged, Ryan tries to throw his cell phone on the floor of the car but succeeds in spilling coffee all over himself.  Karma, let’s do lunch.

Vella commissioned renderings for the 290 West building.  I had to show you this one.  Just look at the floor-to-ceiling windows and the view of the Hudson River.  If you squint and look to the far left, you can see the Statue of Liberty.  Oh, did you notice the life-sized statue of a horse in the living room?  If you’re űber wealthy, why wouldn’t you want a full-sized stallion in your apartment?  At least I hope it’s a statue and not the nonexistent owner’s stuffed polo pony.

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Don’t forget that Stars has launched her website –

snackingandsnarking.com

We’ve got one more episode of MMLNY to close out this season.

Snacking and Snarking!

Dear LynnFam Family –

I know we were all stunned at Veena’s recent announcement concerning this blog. She really stepped in at such a pivotal time for all of us that allowed the continuation of the community that Lynn originally created. Veena quietly made herself available daily to post and/or write items for our entertainment and amusement. In her absence, Tartsy stepped in and did an amazing job of keeping everything afloat while Veena was on her world tour…

Veena also offered newbie bloggers like me a platform to spread our wings. She did this all without fanfare or falderal… Her early mornings have been dedicated to this blog for almost 3 years now… It might be nice for her to be able to finally sleep in for a change, no? Or perhaps watch cartoons? Go for a run? Breathe? Words seem woefully inadequate to express how much all of her hard work has meant to us…

Thank You, Veena!

I have been talking for well over a year, now, about starting a personal website of my own. I wanted to create a place where I could blog about more than just Bravo shows. Slowly, I started to build a website from a blank template. I walked away from it for several months when technology and my health bit me in the dupa. A short while ago, I renewed my efforts… Little did I know how important the timing of it all would be…

I had always envisioned my website working alongside this site – And I even talked with Veena about sharing posts from mine that I thought this community might also enjoy. I really believe there is plenty of room for everyone’s sandboxes. My new site happens to be very eclectic – Just like me… Are you surprised? And it will be constantly growing and developing…There are so many things I want to add even now and categories I want to fill in more fully – But the launch date is here… Woo hooOOOooo!

There may be some kinks in the beginning… But hang in there – That’s what makes life fun, no? It may feel and operate somewhat differently than what you’re used to… but I hope everyone will find something they enjoy. I hope that it feels homey and inviting. I worked very hard to try to make it accessible and visually appealing for cell phone and tablet users. Hopefully, you’ll find maneuvering around the site to be fairly easy and clear. I welcome your feedback.

I would like to give a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you who helped proof and test the website over the last couple of weeks. This just would NOT have happened without you in the timeframe we had… I am so grateful to you for your help and support!

And now, for those of you who are inclined to do so… Please pack your suitcases and join me (If you promise not to fight over who gets the room with a fireplace and a tub)… Without further ado…

It is with great pleasure that I announce the official launch of my new website:  http://snackingandsnarking.com

Be there – Or be square… Or triangular… or rectangular… or… or… or…

I really DO hope to see you there… But if not… I totally understand… This has been a very special place for all of us and is completely irreplaceable. Please know how much I’ve enjoyed all of you. You have been so great to me and I appreciate you so much. I will leave you all with…

Happy Trails to You… Until We Meet Again!

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Brandi Glanville Podcast – Brandi talks Rape Fantasy and Makes Official Announcement about Leaving Housewives

Brandi Glanville Podcast by Kit9

Guest: Filmmaker and actor Josh Lawson talks about his new film, The Little Death.

Josh’s film is about sex. Brandi thinks all women have a rape fantasy  (no, they don’t you idiot). Josh wants specifics about Brandi’s rape fantasy. She says hers is with someone she wouldn’t be with normally. Josh wonders if she really wants it to happen or for it never to be realized. Yes, she really wants it to happen. Brandi’s BF is “very sensitive” to the word rape when she brings it up-he doesn’t like it (imagine that). Josh jokingly asks if that’s because he has a criminal history of rape (because rape is soooo funny, right?). Unbelievably, Brandi says she did look him (JR) up but he only had a DUI.

Brandi wants to be pushed up against a wall and have her panties ripped off. She wants it to get rough. Josh thinks she wants someone else to take control. Brandi’s done the rape scene before but not to the extent she wants to. Josh says his film is about when is the right time to tell someone, for example, that you want them to spit in your mouth. “I don’t want them to judge me or think I’m a freak but I get off on this,” Josh explains.

Brandi doesn’t tell men what she wants specifically but manipulates them into doing it so they think it was their idea. She refers to herself as a “master manipulator of the male species.” Josh wonders if she’s manipulating him in the interview by telling him she wasn’t wearing a bra. “I wish viewers could see what I’m seeing right now. It’s really special”, he quips.

Brandi thinks Josh is “super fucked up, obviously,” for doing the film. All the actors in the film are Australian. Josh believes that relationships are “fucking hard.” Brandi thinks relationships aren’t meant to be at all and references “the nature channel” to back up her belief that humans aren’t monogamous. Then the two banter back and forth about various animals and their alleged monogamy….”Don’t quote me but I think maybe dolphins might be, he says….NO! Dolphins are so horny, she says…”then like crustaceans or something? Like lobsters?” he offers….”I think it’s parrots,” she says .

What’s up in Josh’s love life? He’s been in a relationship for a year, which is a long time for him. They live together and she could be “the one.” Josh has lived in the US for 8 years. Brandi is really excited for people to see this film and thinks it’s hilarious. One character, a woman, gets off seeing her husband cry. Josh talks about various fetishes he’s learned about including eyeball licking, which, apparently, is huge in Japan.

Brandi talks about liking having her feet licked by her dog while having sex. She says the dogs know when she’s having sex or using her vibrator. “They smell it.” “You need to clean your vibrator”, Josh jokes. “I do clean it! I’m very hygienic”. Talk turns to Aussies and Brandi says she’s never seen as many hot men as when she went, recently, to Australia. Brandi mentions for the umpteenth time that she loves beautiful people and all her friends are beautiful.

This is the first film Josh wrote. He began acting as a child doing tv and commercials and eventually made his way to LA. Brandi came to LA years ago from Europe to do a Coors Light commercial with Kid Rock. Josh whines about the competitive nature of being an actor in LA. Brandi isn’t competitive with other women except with men. “If a girl messes with my guy, I’ll cut a bitch.” Yet, she claims she’s not a jealous person. Brandi’s never gone through a man’s phone. She didn’t go through Eddie’s phone.

“Little death” comes from a french phrase and is slang for orgasm. The film opens with a toe sucking scene. Brandi is ok with toe sucking but it’s not something she craves. But, there are certain things she has to have, which is why she keeps going back to her ex, because he does “those things.”

Brandi “was shocked” to see so many Asian people in Australia and asks Josh why that is (epic face palm). Josh explains basic geography to Brandi and notes Australia has a good standard of living and a good education system. “I’m not being racist!” Brandi squeals, laughing. Josh notes Australia also has large Indian and Greek populations, as well. “Really? Wow,” replies Brandi.

Ok, I’m done w/this BS and am FFing to the announcement. Jesus, the she’s really freaking waiting till the very last second.

And, here it is……..”After a lot of careful thought and deliberation, I’ve decided not to return to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” She goes on…”Bravo will always be my family and like Andy said, it’s the Mafia, you never really get to leave us and they’ve been so great to me.”

“And, you know, if I’m available and they need me, they know how to find me and we’ll see. But, I’m excited about what the future holds..and some exciting things I can’t talk about yet. It’s been a great four years and I’m really excited for what’s next and, like I said, it’s always gonna be my family….see you when I see you, peeps.”

No talk of her own show or coming back next season as a friend of. She’s been talking about exciting things coming for months so I don’t know that whatever she’s referring to is Bravo related. That first line of the last paragraph suggests to me Bravo has no concrete plans for her. So, with that….it’s officially official. SHE’S HISTORY.

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Real Housewives of New York Cast Blogs Blogged and Million Dollar Listing New York

Real Housewives of New York Cast Blogs Blogged by Namaste

Episode 11

 

FYI

Ramona hasn’t blogged since May 29^th.

Bethenny Frankel

“Can Everyone Get Off Me?”

And now Bethenny is crying.  Again.  Sigh.  She promises this is the last time.  I think we heard that before.  She knows she is not the first person to go through a divorce and custody battle.  B feels pulled in many directions.  She claims she didn’t ask the girls to adjust dates for her, but I think the other girls were compelled to try and accommodate her.  I honestly think Bethenny jumped into this show when she wasn’t emotionally ready.  I think she is more raw than she would like us to see.

I remember that day, and it really felt that Kristen was looking to stir it up with me, albeit subtly. Here is my advice: You do you, and I’ll do me.

She knew walking in that Kristen was ready for battle (again, I think Kristen was waiting for “screen time” and knew a confrontation with B would give her definite time!)  B was excited to see Luann’s fashion line.  She compliments Luann’s business sense.

I giggled at the conversation with Ramona. She just makes me laugh. I keep her around to be entertained, and she never disappoints. And she is always oblivious to the joke, which makes me laugh even more.

Ramona is the classic dumb blonde.  She never disappoints.

Regarding the Carole lesbian dream scene, can everyone get off me? I’m not here telling Carole that she needs to perk up and become more motivated, so she doesn’t need to worry about my intensity. I haven’t written eight books, done a talk show, nine seasons of reality TV, created two workout DVDs, raised a 5-year-old, and built an international brand by being “chill.” She can sit right down, BUT I will let her go down on me in her dreams.

Downtown Julie Brown?  Really?  I have not ever had a lesbian sex dream.  Nothing wrong with Lesbians, but I am not a lesbian and haven’t had lesbian sex dreams.  That said, when I was preggers with the twins, I had some pretty insane dreams.  B says she likes men.  But is flattered by Carole’s dreams.

I LOVED our broads’ dinner. I feel badly that we talked about Sonja and our opinions about where she is in her life. There is more to this story on this night, which will play out this season. I maintain that Sonja is a good person, who is sweet, fun, and sexy. She is also holding onto a lot of stuff inside that no one sees. Maybe even Sonja doesn’t see it. And that night proved that blondes do get more head turns.

Sonja’s behavior makes me very uncomfy.  I agree that Sonja is a good person who is living in a fantasy world.  I saw she got a new intern this week.  Can anyone explain the intern situation to me?  Are they paid?  Do they get college credit?  What is their major if their internship is “working” for Sonja?  Anyone?  Crickets.

Ramona came in hot on Kristen at Luann’s suite. This is because Ramona knows a lot about the ins and outs of my situation, and she saw Kristen chomping at the bit to start a conversation about the trip. Ramona will take a hit for me.

Ramona really jumped into the shit with Kristen.  I don’t agree with her confrontational approach.  I think the conversation would have been better if she had pulled Kristen aside and just talked to her about how her words were perceived by Bethenny.  I also think the other ladies are walking on egg shells around Bethenny because everything seems to set her off.  Bethenny warns us though that everything between herself and Ramona is not sunshine and roses.

Kristen Taekman

“I am so Over Ramona and Her Opinions”

Kristen starts off telling us she felt bad for interrupting her conversation with Bethenny last week.  I think it was one of those situations where Kristen had all the words on the tip of her tongue and desperately needed to speak to B immediately before she forgot everything she wanted to say.

Lu asked me to model for her Countess line of clothing, which I was excited to do. Just before I had to go in and get my makeup done, Ramona (aka Sh– Stirrer) had said Bethenny was having issues with the schedule for our trip we were all taking. Please keep in mind we are dealing with eight women’s schedules and, like Bethenny, both Heather and I also have small children. We need to do quite a bit of scheduling in advance in order to get away, which we had already done and now if we are going to change it again for her schedule, we need to know right away.

Hey, I get it!  I have 2 teenagers and planning a weekend is like organizing a G8 Summit!  Kristen claims she wasn’t trying to be rude and I really don’t think her approach was rude, but when it comes to Bethenny these days, we just don’t know what is gonna bring on Niagara Falls.

I have no idea all the stress and pressure she has in her personal life, but then again she turns her back on me and doesn’t speak to me, so how would I know? And BTW…she has no problem being rude or talking sh– to any of the girls, so #sorrynotsorry for just wanting to know what her plans with the trip.

This is kinda true.  Bethenny can be pretty rude.  She can dish it out, but cannot take it.

Ramona is always just out to get me. So because Bethenny is going through a divorce, I am not supposed to ask her about the trip? I should wait and hear about it later through the grapevine? NO! Ramona, you don’t make the rules.

Ramona’s approach was awful.  We have seen this time and time again with Ramona.  She is very confrontational.  I am starting to see why Mario sought out another woman…ok, I had figured this out sooner!

Ramona, you have a history with these women–years and years of friendships. I am an acquaintance of yours, just met Dorinda, and have talked to Bethenny once for maybe a minute or two. I’m the first to admit I do not fit into your little group. That is clearly obvious, and that is just fine with me. I know where my place is and Upper East Side and downtown are two different worlds, and I’m fine staying downtown with my family and friends.

Ramona’s has always approached others as “better than”.  Kristen and Ramona would not be “friends” in a natural environment so we cannot expect them to be friends on RH.  It would be nice if Ramona could be KIND, but that aint’ gonna happen.  Kristen calls herself and MILF and Ramona a cougar.  LOL!  That kinda makes me giggle.

Luann de Lesseps

“Kristen’s Problem is with Timing, Not Intelligence”

Making cupcakes was fun and talking sex toys was what was expected from Sonja.  Luann enjoyed shoe shopping with Kristen and again we address advice on how to deal with Bethenny.  Argh.  I have no friends that come with instructions.

Carole’s admission to Bethenny that she had a sex dream about her was a bit strange considering they don’t know each other all that well. I can see how a bit of nooky would loosen Bethenny up, but I think she’s going to have to find her own way on this! At least Carole was honest that she stirred the pot when talking about Kristen’s Pop of Color nail polish brand. Why she would insert herself between the two of them is beyond me…I guess even cool girls can be all uncool!

I was also impressed that Carole owned that she stirred up some shit with Kristen and Bethenny.  Let’s hope she doesn’t continue down that path.

I design clothing for real women that are chic-made-easy and affordable, and I just celebrated my one-year anniversary of The Countess Collection with Evine.com! My collection can take you from work to play with the kids, and then straight to a dinner party. The pieces are meant to go seamlessly from day to night and all are made right here in NYC (and cost below $60). You’ll see me wear my collection throughout the entire season. Look for my new signature statement jewelry collection this fall. For more on my new collection, go here.

OK, since it is my “job”, I went and checked out Luann’s clothing line.  I gotta say, there are several pieces I wouldn’t mind owning (yes, there a few capes…did we expect anything less?).  The items seem reasonably priced and trendy.  It is also pretty cool that Luann is WEARING her pieces.  I have seen the Kardashian line at Sears and cannot imagine those girls actually wearing any of those items in public.  Luann is proud of her line and the fact that she is filmed wearing her line, shows that does truly love it.  She invited the ladies to her shoot so that she could share her collection with them and also asked Kristen to do some modeling (on the website, there are pics of Luann wearing her pieces as well as other models, but I didn’t see any pics of Kristen?).

The Park Side Restaurant is a great reason to visit Queens. I loved the old-school Italian atmosphere, and since I spent many years in Italy, I felt right at home. Bethenny did a good job picking the spot, and the food was fabulous! Our dinner conversation was going along just fine as we discussed the exotic and out-of-the-way destinations we’d like to visit but then veered into treacherous waters when we began discussing Sonja’s problems. I told the girls that Turks and Caicos is not an intervention but a vacation!

I find it pretty funny how some of these ladies don’t like to leave the island!  Remember how they dissed Alex for living in Brooklyn?  It was also funny for the girls to count the number of “looks” they got from guys in the bar.  Poor B with her brunette locks!  The conversation obviously turned to gossip about Sonja.  Luann does not want to see the vaca turn into an intervention for Sonja (this has happened before and not gone so well…).  The first step in recovery is recognizing you have a problem.  Sonja does not acknowledge that she has problem, therefore it is impossible to help her at this point.  I think Bravo is enabling her as they did with Kim.

Launching a fashion line with family and friends is a dream come true, and I was glad both my children were there for me. It was only a matter of time before Ramona reared her Ramotional head, and I was surprised at her aggressiveness with Kristen. Kristen has a right to express herself wherever and whenever she wants. As for Ramona calling Kristen dumb…well, that’s just dumb! Kristen is very smart, and while she might be having a little difficulty getting on with some of the girls, her problem is with timing, not intelligence. Anyway, it seemed to fizzle out quite quickly.

I’m not so sure it would be a dream come true to start a fashion line and invite some of these unpredictable ladies and have them behave horribly.  Ramona cannot seem to control herself OR she brings the drama in order to keep her apple?  Who knows.  Calling Kristen “dumb” was just childish.  As I said before, this conversation should have taken place privately where Ramona could have simply said, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt when Carole gossiped, but please understand that Bethenny is really vulnerable right now.”  Or she could have checked with The Countess for a manners lesson.

Heather Thomson

“Doing Nothing is Very Hard for Me”

Heather realizes she failed at trying to support Bethenny and that her approach was all wrong in the past.  Heather says no matter how they all try, they seem to miss the mark when it comes to Bethenny.  She says it is hard to not jump in and hug someone when they are obviously hurting and she has to pull back around Bethenny since she knows the reaction will not be good.

At Luann’s party, Ramona decided to come in really hard at Kristen while trying to defend Bethenny. I think we all found this move pretty surprising. PS–When did these two become so close? Ramona was out of line in practicing a classic #HousewivesDoubleStandard. But Kristen handled herself really well in an unfair situation.

It was a totally double standard.  I wonder how the conversation would go if Heather approached Ramona about her rude conversation with Kristen?  I imagine Crazy Eyes would have NONE of that.  #HousewivesDoubleStandard

Heather reviews the divorce statistics (gee, didn’t we just get this less on OC earlier this week?).  Heather acknowledges that when it comes to divorce, her and Kristen are in the minority in the group.  Their perspective is different and perhaps those that have been or are going through divorce are a little bit bitter towards those that are still in good marriages.

Dorinda Medley

“I Feel Bad I Said Anything About Sonja”

Anyone else loving the new girl like me?  I hope she doesn’t spoil this for me!  I am enjoying her.  The cupcake decorating session was fun to watch but I don’t believe for one minute that these ladies can eat a half dozen cupcakes like I can.  I love me some buttercream.  Dorinda called it a “grownup playdate”.  The Turks and Caicos trip came out of nowhere, but I imagine these ladies are given a pretty healthy heads up for these trips, no?  Dorinda bemoans spending 5 whole days with these lunatics.  Maybe she needs to be like Bethenny and demand her own room.  I would also send out a group text that I would no longer be Sonja’s babysitter for the upcoming trip.

So, as an outsider on the inside, it’s fascinating to watch the relationship between Carole and Bethenny develop. They seem quite different, and they are, but it works. Granted, when a friend tells you they’re having sex with you in your dreams, you could either become REALLY close REALLY quickly, or you could get a court order. Carole is calm, a great listener, and really intelligent. Bethenny loves that in someone. She’s able to just be herself, not have to sift through opinons, judgments, or probing questions with Carole. Everyone else treats Bethenny like she’s Poor Richard’s Almanac. Carole is so laid back and so zen, she’s practically catatonic, and that’s what Bethenny needs.

Maybe Carole is the Yin to Bethenny’s Yang.  Maybe her aura balances Bethenny.  I don’t know.  It is interesting.  I do think though that Bethenny doesn’t want to be friends with anyone who is in a perfectly happy marriage/relationship.  I don’t think she is ready for that yet.

So last week we saw Kristen launch her Pop Of Color, and this week, we saw The Countess Collection take off. I’m so proud of Luann and her collection. She has great style, has experienced so much in her life with modeling, a career in Europe, having children, and her relationships, that it’s so nice to see her put all that experience into creative energy and develop a clothing line. It was also an opportunity to break open her classic modeling moves, and show us what she’s got.

I’m kinda bored watching each one start their next business venture.  I feel like I am being forced to watch the Home Shopping Channel or QVC.

At this point, Bethenny should really develop Skinnygirl tissues…the scented ones…cucumber dill with a twist of jalapeńo…to keep you crying.

There might be a market for this!  A lot of people get weepy when they get all liquored up and they could use some nicely scented tissues.  Not everyone can afford to buy linen napkins!

I will admit it, I am a wee bit like Sonja…not in the fact that I have minions who fold and pack my undies, but I do pack way in advance, I overpack and overthink each item.  I am situational packer… “Gee, if we go out to eat at some place fancy, I am gonna need a dress.  And nice shoes.  And prob some matching accessories.”  We are going on vaca in a week and I have already begun obsessing about what to pack.  It also becomes a bigger prob when you have to make sure your kids pack, too!  Wait, Sonja has interns helping her pack for herself?  Really?  This is like an old Polish joke, “How many interns does it take to pack Sonja’s suitcase?”

So, in talking with Bethenny one night, we both realized that Park Side in Queens is one of our favorite restaurants; Bethenny then organized a girl’s night out, complete with stretch limo and trick cups! Great food, old school mafia environment, and the cast of characters are endless. Believe it, it’s much more charming than that sounds. (Also, I forgot how much I love a good jumpsuit and frosted lipstick.) Every time I walk into that place, I feel like I’m on the set of Casino. I dragged The Countess across the East River and she actually enjoyed it!

This was really like a scene out of a movie!  Very old school.  Since Sonja couldn’t come out and play, the ladies took this opportunity to gossip about her.  And this, my friends, is why I never miss book club…cause I am sure those bitches would spend the whole night talking shit about me.

And that brings us to the Rise of RaMEANa. The Warwick suite was gorgeous and, to celebrate the Resident Magazine cover for Luann, we all got together and supported. (I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t mind moving into that suite. It’s that kind of beautiful.) Ultimately, it was a great night, despite the clash in the suite. (Of course, there’s a clash that happens at the party downstairs, but that’s for next Tuesday’s blog.) When Ramona walked in and jumped at Kristen, it was like a new battle between the Blue and the Gray. (Or is it grey?)

She is so right!  RaMEANa was in attendance; do you think she RSVPed?  I wonder if RaMEANa’s plus 1 is Ramona?

Ultimately, Kristen handled herself pretty well and walked out like a classy, elegant girl with a wine glass in hand, thank you very much. Thank goodness it all ended quickly, as we had to move mannequins downstairs for the party that awaited. (Not me…I don’t work at cocktail parties anymore. Those days are behind me. Thanks.)

I have always been on the belief that there is no reasoning with crazy.  Kristen’s best bet was to move her caboose as far away from crazy because that shit can be contagious.

Sonja Morgan

“We Should All Relax and be Ourselves”

Holy crap on toast!  Sonja’s blog is 190 words long.  That’s it.  190.  So Sonja is surprised that Ramona brought her own wine and glass with her.  Really?  This is from the girl that thought Luann was throwing a BYOB party earlier in the season.

I consider Dorinda calling me Marilyn Monroe to be the highest of compliments! I’ve performed as Marilyn Monroe in my caburlesque performances on Watch What Happens Live and recently at a party hosted by Andy Cohen to celebrate WWHL talent producer Anthony Lella’s 30th birthday. So…maybe my stage persona is coming through in my real life. Haaaappy Biiiirthday Mr. President!

I don’t think Dorinda calling Sonja Marilyn Monroe was meant as a compliment.  Given the fact that Marilyn died from an overdose after living a life way beyond her means, I would say it was an accurate comparison and sad parallel for Sonja.  She is still just plain delusional.

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Million Dollar Listing New York by NotInStCyr

Fredric is summoned to a small park in Manhattan’s Financial District.  This is an area that is becoming more residential and is now being called FiDi or the “New Downtown”.  He’s meeting with Eric Bass, a member of the team that is developing the Temple Court building across the street. He invites Fredrik to audition to become the broker for the 51-story condominium tower being built next to the landmark.  Temple Court is one of the most fabled properties in the city.  Fredrik can barely contain his excitement.  He says that when he first looked at the property, his reaction was the same as when he first laid eyes on the paint-dappled perfection that is Derek.  His next thought was, “I want that!”  I completely understand.  I get the same feeling when I look at the maple bacon crullers at Do-Rite Donuts in the morning.  Temple Court is a 130 year-old red brick office building that has a beautiful 9-story interior courtyard rimmed by elaborate wrought iron railings and topped by a glass skylight.  As it aged and fell out of favor, the building lost tenants and eventually closed.  It became the sleeping beauty of New York real estate.  I first saw Temple Court when it was featured on Scouting NY, a blog by Nick Carr, a movie location scout.  His blog helped stir interest in the decrepit property, which became a hip place to shoot fashion spreads, TV scenes and music videos and also host social events. Kanye West has been there. Say no more.  This brought in a little money that may have helped keep the building afloat until it could be rescued.  In 2012, GFI Development/GB Lodging bought Temple Court for $64 million and renamed it 5 Beekman.  If Fredrik gets the job, it will be one of the highlights of his career and could net him a $9 million commission.

Ryan is brainstorming with his Nest Seekers team about the marketing of the One57 apartment.  For a two bedroom, two bath apartment priced at $13.95 million, people at least expect unobstructed views.  Since the seller is throwing in the furniture, the team decides to showcase the unit as a turnkey property that will appeal to new, young money – that is, people who work all day and never look out the window.  Ryan decides they need to host a party for young millionaires, particularly from the tech field.

Having taken his life coach’s lessons to heart, Luis is taking the time to take deep breaths in his office. His coach must have left out the part about smelling the roses.  Luis admits that his life was filled with too much frantic energy, and that he lost his focus.  Now invigorated, he tells Ronita that “we’re going to turn things around!”  Luis decides to go back to the future by tackling the Jones home in Harlem.  He loves both the clients and the house and has been kicking himself for not being able to sell it.

It’s show time and Fredrik shows up with a rolling bar cart at the pitch meeting for 5 Beekman.  This is an unusual strategy, since most people come to meetings armed with laptop PowerPoint presentations and spiral bound reports. Maybe even a laser pointer. He starts serving drinks around the table while he describes the atmosphere he’d like to create at an event that will give people a taste of what it will be like to live in the building. The challenge here is that the condo tower hasn’t been built yet, and a high-profile project like this has to offer more than just renderings to prospective buyers.  So, Fredrik suggests making a very large scale model of the condo tower that would help people visualize the apartment they could be living in.  He’d also like a state-of-the art model apartment with simulated view windows that would be remotely controlled by an IPad.  A Debbie Downer comments that these ideas could cost millions of dollars to execute.  Still, Fredrik gets congratulated for thinking outside of the box.  Ruh roh – that sounds dismissive.  Maybe Fredrik was hoping to soften the mood with the alcoholic beverages.

Ryan is holding the event for “new millionaires” in the One57 party room.  He’s wearing a tuxedo in a plaid that would be look better upholstering a wing chair in a wind-swept Scottish castle. He stands out, and that’s the point.  He says that he wants these people to know, “I’m your broker, bitch!”  He’s right — a broker in a loud plaid tux would be memorable.  Ryan leads people on tours of the apartment, with its high-end finishes and $1 million dollars’ worth of free furniture.  I can tell you that the closet pendant light alone (The Moooi Random Light designed by Bertjan Pot) costs about $700.  This I know, because I’ve lusted after this fixture for ages.  Since it’s dark outside, no one even notices the obstructed park view. Clever!  The party is full of insanely wealthy, disheveled “start-up dudes”, including one person who wants to make an offer in Bitcoins.  This is like Monopoly money to Ryan, but he’s told that for B50,000 is worth about $13.041 million in real world dollars.

The Maserati is back!  Luis drives it to Harlem to meet once again with Dr. and Mrs. Jones.  He’s greeted warmly, if warily, by the couple.  Luis explains that he’d like to re-list the house.  Perceptively, Mrs. Jones replies that he wasn’t focused enough the last time he tried to sell it.  Also, Dr. Jones didn’t appreciate the push back on the price they got from him.  Luis assures them that he wants get them the price they want and that the house deserves. He says, “I’d like to finish this”.  Dr. Jones agrees to give Luis a 30-day contract.

Ryan and Emilia are dining at home, and he is inordinately proud of the fact that he cooked the meal.  I’m glad that household tasks are being performed by both partners nowadays, but why is it that when a man does his share, he expects the Noble Prize?  Or at least a Milk Bone. I digress. Emilia announces that she’s gotten a promotion.  They drink to that, but Ryan notices that she doesn’t seem particularly happy about it.  We learn that Emilia is a lawyer specializing in shipping law, and her firm wants her to relocate to Geneva.  Which is really ironic, because Switzerland is a land-locked country.  Emilia says that she’s worked really hard for this and needs to consider the opportunity.  Ryan is stunned.  He tell us that New York is a part of their relationship.  The part that doesn’t send birthday cards, remember anniversaries or pick up the garbage, which is scattered all over the front sidewalk.  Emilia feels that he can sell real estate anywhere, but he tells her that he can’t leave the city.

An awkward, TO BE CONTINUED silence ensues.

Luis has finally hired another broker named Ricellys for Team Luis.  She and Luis hold private showings of the Jones’ 5-story townhome.  Instead of trying to lure Manhattan brokers into making the trek up to Harlem, Luis is marketing the property as a family home.  They emphasize its roominess, hand-carved finishes and lavish appointments.  At one of the showings, they meet a broker with a client who wants a house large enough to accommodate 3 generations of his family.

Fredrik got the job!  He’s at the Beekman sales gallery, which is a mock-up of the hotel lobby and bar.  It looks like all of his suggestions were used.  There is an impressively large model of the entire development, which Fredrik admits makes even him look small.  It cost $500,000 and took 30 people 30 days to build.  The model apartment is, of course, stunning.  At the touch of an IPad screen, Fredrik can call up every view that every window of every one of the 68 units will have.  The entire shebang cost $2.5 million, and Fredrik needs to prove it’s worth every penny the developers spent.  No worry.  Even though the tower is not yet built, and the units are priced at the record high price of $2,200/sq. ft., 25% of them are sold by the end of the evening.  Fredrik informs Bass that they’ve done $44 million in sales in just a few hours.  He (Fredrik, not Bass) does his happy “weeee” leg kick and sings in Swedish.

Ryan is trying to concentrate on his work and not dwell on the bomb dropped by Emilia.  He submits the Bitcoin offer, which is still $1 million below the asking price, to his client’s representative, who is not Virtual Victor this time around.  Blake is surprisingly reasonable and agrees with Ryan that the price is too high, especially since there is a surplus of luxury apartments in the New York real estate market.  Instead of taking the apartment off the market, the client will instead lease it to a friend for $50,000/mo. It’s a win/win for Ryan.  The property will become a pocket listing that he can continue to show to potential buyers, and he will make a commission of $7,500/mo. from the lease.

Luis drives out to the Jones’ weekend getaway in Grand View-on-Hudson, NY.  He can’t wait to tell them that he has a fully-vetted offer for the full asking price from the buyer with the multi-generation family.  As a reward, Dr. Jones asks Luis to sell their house on the Hudson River.  What is it with these rich people?  Why do they keep flipping the homes they live in?  Are they nomads?

I’ve admitted that the Temple Court/5 Beekman building is dear to my heart.  So what if the apartments in the nondescript, architecturally soul-less glass tower are priced between $1.2 million and $3.7 million, which is beyond the reach of mere mortals.  I’m just glad that this old world brick palace was rescued from the wrecking ball and preserved.  Fredrik has already sold 50% of the units in the condo tower.  Note to self: must buy lottery tickets.  PS:  Puffer Munkin + Ryan 4EVAH!!!

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The Shahs of Sunset Reunion – Is there any resolution?

The Shahs of Sunset – Reunion Part 2 by SunnyGirl

Right before airing this, the Hollywood Reporter reported that The Shahs of Sunset had been picked up for their fifth season.

Even if you have not watched any part of the Shahs this season, watch this part of the reunion.  There is quite a bit of back stage filming, including inside everyone’s trailers and activity when the cameras are supposedly not rolling.

We open where Reza has walked off the stage.  The producer follows him outside.  Reza says he is tired of seeing the “poor guy on the hot seat” and that he just wants it to end.  He says bring Jessica out and get this thing finished.

When Reza comes back on set, he and Mike again begin talking in Persian and arguing back and forth.  There seems to be tons of emotion and anger between the two.

Andy turns to Reza and says it seems like Reza wants to hang Mike up by the balls and burn him.  Reza responds that if that was his intention, it would have been done by now.  Reza says he wants his friend back.  He says he doesn’t blame Jessica for hating them but that Mike caused that himself.

Andy asks MJ about her relationship with Charlie.  (Gossip rags says he had a long term girlfriend the whole time he was seeing MJ.)  MJ says he lied about his job and cheated many times.  GG says he really took advantage of MJ.  No one is unhappy to see Charlie gone.

They talk about MJ’s wanting to have a baby.  Andy asks Reza if he would be MJ’s “baby daddy” and Reza says yes.

Andy asks about GG and Danny.  GG says they service each other but that she has met someone else that she is interested in.

Mike is texting again.

Andy asks Asifa about the fighting in Thailand.  Asifa says she didn’t realize the effect she was having on others around her.  She apologizes sincerely and is very emotional.

Bobby comes out.  He and Asifa have been together seven years.  Six months into the relationship is when the fighting and arguing began.  Bobby says it is hell to watch on TV but it’s very clear that Bobby takes no ownership of any part of the dysfunction.  Asifa wants therapy but Bobby says it isn’t a two way problem.  He says he looks like a bitch.  At this point, Andy asks why stay together?  Bobby says he loves Asifa but doesn’t know if he is in love with her.  (I hate Bobby at this point.)  Andy wants them to break up today.

Reza calls Bobby out on his behavior and says he is treating Asifa badly.  Bobby says he wants to break up but Asifa won’t move out.  Asifa is very emotional.  Asa tells Bobby to take some ownership of the problems – that he is not the victim!  (Amen, Asa.)

Andy asks Asa if she is on the Homeland Security list.  She says her art landed her there and that there is a large file on her.

Mike is still texting.

Andy calls for a lunch break.  Producer tells Andy that Mike doesn’t want Jessica to come to the set.  Andy decides to talk to Jessica himself.

Reza and Asa eat lunch together.  MJ & GG are together outside of their trailers, smoking up a storm.  Mike walks by and grimaces at GG.  Mike heads toward Asifa’s trailer.

Mike tries to talk to her about her relationship.  He tells her it isn’t healthy and that it is time for her to move on.  (He actually makes sense.)

Andy is filmed talking to Jessica in her trailer.  It is the first time they have met.  Jessica starts by saying she doesn’t want to come out.  Andy says he was told that Mike didn’t want her to come out.  Jessica says she wants to tell her side and that she has a lot to say but that she isn’t comfortable.  She says that the group is talking about attacking her and she doesn’t want to deal with it and also that she respects her husband’s decision for her not to come out.  She accepts responsibility for her nastiness with Reza, Asa and MJ and says she is sorry for that.  Andy asks about Jessica’s belief in Mike’s faithfulness.  She responds that she chose to believe him.

Mike and Jessica are in Jessica’s trailer.  It is obvious that Mike is talking in code to Jessica.  Jessica says she feels misunderstood by everyone.  Mike is still adamant that she should go home.  He calls for the car and tells her to change her clothes.

Before they go back on set, the producer takes Mike’s cell phone so that he can no longer be texting.

Andy talks about Mike’s decision to not let Jessica come on set.  GG is pissed!  Mike says it’s his battle; not Jessica’s.

Andy says that during the show and on social media, Jessica has called them bad friends, classless, liars, trashy, uneducated, jobless, fakes, and not good people.

MJ says if Jessica came out, she would have to face some truths that she doesn’t want to face.  (I think she is alluding to all the gossip rags and even a book which describes Mike’s extramarital affairs, which are told to be about 20 since he has been in a relationship or married to Jessica.)

Mike states that GG wants him and that’s why all this came up about Turkey.  GG laughs, crazily.

Reza says Jessica is not an innocent victim.  He talks about a tweet Jessica sent saying she was going to wipe her ass with the $500 check Reza gave for the wedding and send it to GG.  Reza says Jessica cashed the check.

Andy asks about Mike and Jessica’s wedding and they show pictures.  It looks beautiful.  MJ and GG didn’t go.  Andy asks MJ why and she says it’s because she wasn’t allowed to bring a plus one.

Mike says he should not have vented to Jessica about his friends – that it caused damage in the relationships.  Mike says he doesn’t feel close to anyone.

Asa says it’s hard to be friends with him because he never calls or contacts them.  Mike says he forgets to call.  Mike says he isn’t giving up – that the bridge is broken, but not burned.

Reza says the door is open but that Mike never knocks.

Asa makes toast about moving forward.  Mike does not drink.

Now we see them all walking to their trailers and making plans for the evening.  Asa wants a drink.

Reza goes up to Mike and they hug.  Reza says GG wanted a real apology.  Reza says they need to sit down and make things right.  Mike agrees.

GG calls to Mike.  She asks him to come have a drink with them.  She says she would really like him to come with them.  He agrees to go.

The reunion ends with a caption saying “To Be Continued……next season.”

___________________________________

Million Dollar Listing New York

Million Dollar Listing New York by NotInStCyr

MDLNYS4E9

Luis is quickly getting ready to go to the office, but he has to contend with his mother, who is visiting and preparing pancakes for breakfast.  Channeling her inner Donna Reed, she looks lovely in a white silk blouse with a black bow and pearl earrings.  Although Luis can’t wait to get out the door, she tries to get him to sit down and eat something.  It looks like a breakfast commercial for impatient millennials or preschoolers.  Luis’ mother is not clearly not pleased with what she sees of her son’s life or lack thereof.  She chides for having only one plate, one cup and one spoon.  These are the sort of things you can’t get by a mother.  Shaking her head in concern, Luis’ mother asks if this is the life that he wants.  Blindsided by the maternal inquisition, Luis can’t escape his apartment fast enough.  Ronita better get on that spoonless situation stat.  Luis is still working on the sale of Garin’s triplex on 90^th St.  You may remember that he found a buyer who offered $2.9 million, only to have the buyer’s broker go MIA on him.

Fredrik is also dealing with a property that he hasn’t been able to sell quickly.  He calls a meeting in his office to exhort his team to find a buyer for the $22.5 million townhome in the West Village.  They’ve gotten a lackluster response from showings, because it has a “crazy, high price”.  Fredrik says that he can smell the mood of the real estate market, which is taking a breather and going to the Hamptons for the weekend.

Ryan has an appointment for a listing in 157 W. 57^th St., which is a brand new, luxury building ” that caters to the ultra rich located on what’s become known as “Billionaires Row.  Expecting to meet in person with Victor, the owner’s assistant, Ryan is confronted by a monitor mounted on a remotely controlled stand on wheels.  He is startled when Victor’s face suddenly appears on the screen.  Apparently, Victor too busy to appear in person and will instead virtually lead Ryan on a tour of the 2,145 sq. ft. apartment.  Like almost every apartment on MDLNY, this unit is spectacular, with beautiful views of the Manhattan skyline and a partial view of Central Park.  The owner bought it in 2011 for $8.9 million and proceeded to make renovations totaling $1 million, even though it was a new building.  Victor tells Ryan that the owner would like to sell it for $16 million, an amount Ryan feels is unreasonable, especially since the apartment only has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths and an obstructed view of the park.  He convinces Victor to list it for the more reasonable price of $13.95 million.  Once Victor agrees, the screen goes black abruptly, leading Ryan to wonder what just happened.

Luis is talking to Ronita about the marketing they need to do for Garin’s triplex.  He admits that he is has a hard time delegating work.

Ryan meets with Olivia to check on the status of the large penthouse she is selling at 22 Renwick.  He then tells her that’s he’s sold the smaller penthouse and hands her a gift wrapped box.  Olivia opens the box to find a modest bathing suit and a swim cap, which she’ll need now that she’s lost the best and will have to jump into the river.  Even though she’s going to share in the real estate commission, she’s a little suspicious that Ryan was able to close the deal so quickly.

Fredrik has a meeting with Tom and Jared, the developers of the West Village townhouse.  They are visibly upset with Fredrik’s lack of progress and warn him that their “patience expires”.  Apparently, so will the exclusive listing.  They refuse to give him more time, which leaves Fredrik 1 week to sell the property.  He’s furious but determined to get the deal done and make the developers eat their words.

Ryan is showing his listing at One57, as the building is known.  Although he steers people to the apartment’s positive features, like the skyline vistas, custom coffered ceilings and ebony clad closet walls, everyone seems to notice the obstructed view of Central Park.  Ryan says that it’s getting harder to sell apartments to the one percenters, because there is a surplus of inventory in the super luxury real estate market.  As an incentive, the seller has decided to include the custom furniture at no additional cost. Who wants to deal with the hassle of moving furniture anyway, right?

Fredrik reaches out to a client who is looking for a “footprint” in New York City.  Although Fredrik interests him in the townhome, the client is balking at its high price.  The client says that he didn’t get rich by overspending on a house.

The missing broker has surfaced, and Luis is meeting him in a restaurant.  Luis is surprised to see him enter the room slowly, trailing a ventilator.  The broker, who is wearing a breathing tube, apologizes in a courtly manner for not returning calls.  He explains that he’s been in the hospital very sick.  He’ll likely need heart, liver and lung transplants, but he says that the deal is still on.  To his credit, Luis tries to brush that talk aside, saying that it’s not as important as the other broker’s health.  Sadly, the broker tells Luis that his prognosis is grim.  He wants to give Luis some advice:  “go home and hug the one you love.  That’s what life is all about”.

In the office, Olivia marches up to Ryan holding an envelope addressed to Puffer Munkin LLC, the entity that bought the smaller penthouse on Renwick.  Ryan tries to be cagey as Olivia grills him, wanting to know (as do we all), “What is a Puffer Munkin?”.  Once she susses out that Ryan sold the apartment to himself, she declares that he’s disqualified and has lost their bet.  Although he tries to tell her that he really wouldn’t have made her jump into the river, she is adamant that he’s the loser and will have to wear a bunny suit.  Seeing that he doth protest too much, Olivia tells him, “If you’re into Puffer Munkins, you’re probably into bunny suits”.  Good one, Olivia.

With 72 hours left on the listing for the West Village townhome, Fredrik has set up another meeting with the irritated developers.  He presents them with an all-cash offer for $19.5 million, which still fails to please them.  Fredrik convinces Tom and Jared to make a reasonable counter-offer at $22 million.  While he talks with the prospective buyer, the developers talk about how nice it is to see Fredrik sweating.  I’m not liking these guys, because they don’t appreciate the difficult position they put Fredrik in with the high price they insisted on.  The potential buyer is pushed to counter his offer first to $20.5 million, and then to $21 million, which sets a record for the area.  Fredrik feels victorious and in a dramatic move, announces that he’s willing to forego his $600,000+ commission so that the developers will make more money.  Uhhh, Fredrik, developers have enough money.  You don’t need to cut your nose to spite your face.

Luis has seen the light – or at least gotten a glimpse of what his future may look like if he continues to live the way he has been.  He knows that he stresses himself out and doesn’t take care of himself.  He tells us that he recently thought he was having a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.  We get a montage of Luis stressing out and the then the ride in the ambulance.  He finally admits that he needs help and has hired a life coach.  When the life coach asks what the longest time is that he’s ever gone without answering his text messages, Luis replies that it’s the current conversation.  He understands that he needs to be more in the present and that nothing else matters except what’s in front of you.  The life coach shows him how to meditate and afterwards, a visibly relaxed Luis sheds happy tears.

On a lighter note, we see Ryan strolling into his Nest Seekers office wearing a pink bunny suit and eating a carrot.  Olivia reminds Ryan that he cheated and will be subjected to the humiliation of wearing the bunny suit and running her errands.  She is remorseless and gives him a to do list that includes getting a salad, a cup of coffee and, the ultimate punishment, a box of tampons.  Ryan seems unfazed and a little too at ease hopping around in a bunny suit.  As a former actor, he’s clearly comfortable with being an exhibitionist and has no problem making a fool of himself in public.  It’s also hilarious to see people walking around Manhattan oblivious to the giant bunny in their midst.  Once he returns to the office with his tasks completed, Olivia absolves him from having to wear the suit any longer.  Curiously, he’s in no hurry to take it off.

Will we ever find out what IS Puffer Munkin or who is Keyser Sőze?  Will Fredrik regret giving away over half a million dollars in commission?  Will Luis zen his way to better health, get a life AND make his mother happy?  Stay tuned.

____________________________________

 

Luis is quickly getting ready to go to the office, but he has to contend with his mother, who is visiting and preparing pancakes for breakfast.  Channeling her inner Donna Reed, she looks lovely in a white silk blouse with a black bow and pearl earrings.  Although Luis can’t wait to get out the door, she tries to get him to sit down and eat something.  It looks like a breakfast commercial for impatient millennials or preschoolers.  Luis’ mother is not clearly not pleased with what she sees of her son’s life or lack thereof.  She chides for having only one plate, one cup and one spoon.  These are the sort of things you can’t get by a mother.  Shaking her head in concern, Luis’ mother asks if this is the life that he wants.  Blindsided by the maternal inquisition, Luis can’t escape his apartment fast enough.  Ronita better get on that spoonless situation stat.  Luis is still working on the sale of Garin’s triplex on 90^th St.  You may remember that he found a buyer who offered $2.9 million, only to have the buyer’s broker go MIA on him.

Fredrik is also dealing with a property that he hasn’t been able to sell quickly.  He calls a meeting in his office to exhort his team to find a buyer for the $22.5 million townhome in the West Village.  They’ve gotten a lackluster response from showings, because it has a “crazy, high price”.  Fredrik says that he can smell the mood of the real estate market, which is taking a breather and going to the Hamptons for the weekend.

Ryan has an appointment for a listing in 157 W. 57^th St., which is a brand new, luxury building ” that caters to the ultra rich located on what’s become known as “Billionaires Row.  Expecting to meet in person with Victor, the owner’s assistant, Ryan is confronted by a monitor mounted on a remotely controlled stand on wheels.  He is startled when Victor’s face suddenly appears on the screen.  Apparently, Victor too busy to appear in person and will instead virtually lead Ryan on a tour of the 2,145 sq. ft. apartment.  Like almost every apartment on MDLNY, this unit is spectacular, with beautiful views of the Manhattan skyline and a partial view of Central Park.  The owner bought it in 2011 for $8.9 million and proceeded to make renovations totaling $1 million, even though it was a new building.  Victor tells Ryan that the owner would like to sell it for $16 million, an amount Ryan feels is unreasonable, especially since the apartment only has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths and an obstructed view of the park.  He convinces Victor to list it for the more reasonable price of $13.95 million.  Once Victor agrees, the screen goes black abruptly, leading Ryan to wonder what just happened.

Luis is talking to Ronita about the marketing they need to do for Garin’s triplex.  He admits that he is has a hard time delegating work.

Ryan meets with Olivia to check on the status of the large penthouse she is selling at 22 Renwick.  He then tells her that’s he’s sold the smaller penthouse and hands her a gift wrapped box.  Olivia opens the box to find a modest bathing suit and a swim cap, which she’ll need now that she’s lost the best and will have to jump into the river.  Even though she’s going to share in the real estate commission, she’s a little suspicious that Ryan was able to close the deal so quickly.

Fredrik has a meeting with Tom and Jared, the developers of the West Village townhouse.  They are visibly upset with Fredrik’s lack of progress and warn him that their “patience expires”.  Apparently, so will the exclusive listing.  They refuse to give him more time, which leaves Fredrik 1 week to sell the property.  He’s furious but determined to get the deal done and make the developers eat their words.

Ryan is showing his listing at One57, as the building is known.  Although he steers people to the apartment’s positive features, like the skyline vistas, custom coffered ceilings and ebony clad closet walls, everyone seems to notice the obstructed view of Central Park.  Ryan says that it’s getting harder to sell apartments to the one percenters, because there is a surplus of inventory in the super luxury real estate market.  As an incentive, the seller has decided to include the custom furniture at no additional cost. Who wants to deal with the hassle of moving furniture anyway, right?

Fredrik reaches out to a client who is looking for a “footprint” in New York City.  Although Fredrik interests him in the townhome, the client is balking at its high price.  The client says that he didn’t get rich by overspending on a house.

 

The missing broker has surfaced, and Luis is meeting him in a restaurant.  Luis is surprised to see him enter the room slowly, trailing a ventilator.  The broker, who is wearing a breathing tube, apologizes in a courtly manner for not returning calls.  He explains that he’s been in the hospital very sick.  He’ll likely need heart, liver and lung transplants, but he says that the deal is still on.  To his credit, Luis tries to brush that talk aside, saying that it’s not as important as the other broker’s health.  Sadly, the broker tells Luis that his prognosis is grim.  He wants to give Luis some advice:  “go home and hug the one you love.  That’s what life is all about”.

In the office, Olivia marches up to Ryan holding an envelope addressed to Puffer Munkin LLC, the entity that bought the smaller penthouse on Renwick.  Ryan tries to be cagey as Olivia grills him, wanting to know (as do well all), “What is a Puffer Munkin?”.  Once she susses out that Ryan sold the apartment to himself, she declares that he’s disqualified and has lost their bet.  Although he tries to tell her that he really wouldn’t have made her jump into the river, she is adamant that he’s the loser and will have to wear a bunny suit.  Seeing that he doth protest too much, Olivia tells him, “If you’re into Puffer Munkins, you’re probably into bunny suits”.  Good one, Olivia.

With 72 hours left on the listing for the West Village townhome, Fredrik has set up another meeting with the irritated developers.  He presents them with an all-cash offer for $19.5 million, which still fails to please them.  Fredrik convinces Tom and Jared to make a reasonable counter-offer at $22 million.  While he talks with the prospective buyer, the developers talk about how nice it is to see Fredrik sweating.  I’m not liking these guys, because they don’t appreciate the difficult position they put Fredrik in with the high price they insisted on.  The potential buyer is pushed to counter his offer first to $20.5 million, and then to $21 million, which sets a record for the area.  Fredrik feels victorious and in a dramatic move, announces that he’s willing to forego his $600,000+ commission so that the developers will make more money.  Uhhh, Fredrik, developers have enough money.  You don’t need to cut your nose to spite your face.

 

Luis has seen the light – or at least gotten a glimpse of what his future may look like if he continues to live the way he has been.  He knows that he stresses himself out and doesn’t take care of himself.  He tells us that he recently thought he was having a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.  We get a montage of Luis stressing out and the then the ride in the ambulance.  He finally admits that he needs help and has hired a life coach.  When the life coach asks what the longest time is that he’s ever gone without answering his text messages, Luis replies that it’s the current conversation.  He understands that he needs to be more in the present and that nothing else matters except what’s in front of you.  The life coach shows him how to meditate and afterwards, a visibly relaxed Luis sheds happy tears.

On a lighter note, we see Ryan strolling into his Nest Seekers office wearing a pink bunny suit and eating a carrot.  Olivia reminds Ryan that he cheated and will be subjected to the humiliation of wearing the bunny suit and running her errands.  She is remorseless and gives him a to do list that includes getting a salad, a cup of coffee and, the ultimate punishment, a box of tampons.  Ryan seems unfazed and a little too at ease hopping around in a bunny suit.  As a former actor, he’s clearly comfortable with being an exhibitionist and has no problem making a fool of himself in public.  It’s also hilarious to see people walking around Manhattan oblivious to the giant bunny in their midst.  Once he returns to the office with his tasks completed, Olivia absolves him from having to wear the suit any longer.  Curiously, he’s in no hurry to take it off.

 

 

Will we ever find out what IS Puffer Munkin or who is Keyser Sőze?  Will Fredrik regret giving away over half a million dollars in commission?  Will Luis zen his way to better health, get a life AND make his mother happy?  Stay tuned.

Real Housewives of New York Cast Blogs Blogged

Real Housewives of New York Cast Blogs Blogged by Namaste

Episode 10

Bethenny Frankel

“I Never Said Kristen Is Dumb”

Let me start off by saying that the other ladies OBVIOUSLY know the best way to get screen time is to be confrontational with Bethenny.  This episode specially exposes this when the ladies are getting on line to bitch at Bethenny.  Bethenny just wanted the odd dynamic with Heather to be over.  She just wanted to hug and move on.  She acknowledges that she is very high strung.  I don’t think anyone will argue that with her!

As for AOA, I felt like the Don waiting to put out fires and deal with everyone’s issues…I approached Heather, because I really didn’t want this to become some insane Housewife rivalry that it isn’t. She came on strong. I backed up. That is it.

These two ladies are both Type A and very strong personalities.  They are “black and white” without a lot of grey in the middle.  I don’t see them being besties any time soon.

Now to Kristen. I saw her winding up the whole party and simply couldn’t do it. We didn’t click. J’adore Carole, and I genuinely consider her a friend, but she has no idea what she is talking about. I never said Kristen didn’t register the trademark. I never said Kristen was dumb. I had no idea about either of these things. I simply questioned Kristen choosing a name that is remarkably similar to another much larger brand.

Carole’s behavior was worse than anyone’s.  This is the second episode where we saw Carole get a good dig in and then ran away (last week she was the one that Googled Ramona’s “date”).  I doubt that Bethenny called Kristen “dumb”.  I imagine it was more like, “I think it would be dumb to chose a name for a polish that is already out there AND to not trademark the name immediately.” (Or was it the website domain?)  I buy nail polish, but if I am spending MY money on good polish it is OPI and that is it.  I buy random bottles at the dollar store and what not, but when I want good polish, I stick to what I know.  I will not be seeking out A Pop of Color anytime soon.

Sonja impressed me. She was so humble and earnest and eager and wanted to learn at my Skinnygirl brand summit. She could have left early, she could have been negative (particularly because I was skeptical about her brand meeting), and she could have been a know-it-all. She did none of that. She listened. She connected. She worked the room. I shared all of my contacts and wanted her to learn.

OK, was Sonja late to the meeting?  She showed up AFTER Bethenny so am thinking she was a wee bit tardy.  She did seem to put on a good show and make like she understood, but I think she should have brought a dictionary and a thesaurus so she could follow the conversations.  I am impressed that Bethenny is so willing to share her contacts with Sonja.  It shows she does want Sonja to succeed.

All in all, B thinks this was a good episode and is pleased she did not get all weepy.  She warns us that there will be tears next week, but believes we will be free of her crying jags after that.

Dorinda Medley

“There Was A Line To Take Hits At Bethenny”

Dorinda is beside herself with joy since her 50^th birthday weekend is over.  Dorinda believes the ladies used her weekend as an exorcism rather than celebration.

Speaking of Ramona, I can’t tell you how happy I am for her and Avery. They’ve both grown up so nicely, right? Ramona is centered, calm, cool and collected now. And Avery is such a breath of fresh air. Especially considering how New York tends to affect kids of her generation. It’s great to watch their relationship grow. And let me tell you, at some point, you find yourself having “girl talk” with your own daughters and they really become your best friends.

Avery is a super well-adjusted girl that has managed to keep herself grounded and below the radar.  Bravo to her (and I guess Ramona, too!).

And speaking of other spectacular moms I’m proud of, wasn’t it interesting watching Sonja at Bethenny’s summit? I adore Sonja and I love watching her just be Sonja. (Seriously, between her and Ramona, there’s a Discovery Channel special just begging to be made.) But anyway, this wasn’t some bullsh– summit at Cipriani, with cocktail waitresses offering you a refresher, this was a no-bullsh– business meeting — the real deal.

Yes yes, we are all impressed by this high powered business meeting that was lacking Skinnygirl Sweeteners where Bethenny dress in her brand colors.  Very cool.

So, with that, I’ll segue to our AOA Christmas party. AOA is a fun, upscale, stylish sports bar with lots of energy. Kind of like Ramona. The atmosphere is high energy and the food is pretty great. I really love the way the TVs were all on fireplace mode and not on a sports game — that was nice. And that’s as far as “nice” got. (To be honest, this was a party I really had no interest in going to.) As you know, whenever the girls get together, there’s some drama afoot and I felt it was going to be another Salem bonfire.

Have I mentioned how much I love Dorinda?  She is quick and witty and keeps is real.  If she comes back for another season, I hope she can maintain!  She mentioned she was aware that Heather, Luann and Kristen all had beefs with Bethenny and could tell that they were brewing for a battle.

That night, it seemed Bethenny was the target. But it was so aggravating because it seemed like there was literally a line forming to take hits at her. Like a line for a picture with Santa at Macy’s, but instead of wishlists, billy clubs and night sticks. As soon as she walked in, the punches started swingin’! As you know, I have no beef and rarely do, so I decided to just be one of the little elves in the background. I’m more comfortable back there. If it’s something serious, I’ll jump at someone’s throat, but why make petty mountains out of petty molehills?

It was strange to watch and honestly, had I been in Bethenny’s platforms, I would have bolted for the door.  Dorinda is one smart cookie and reminds us we have learned time and time again that Bethenny does not do well with confrontation.  Have these ladies learned nothing?  I think the ladies just realize the camera is on Bethenny and they want screen time… (I think I mentioned this before).

Heather Thomson

“I’m Sorry If I Came Off Pushy”

Heather admits right off that she is a “fixer”.  She tells us she likes to give people chances and she has definitely learned about Bethenny’s personality.  She is glad they had managed to put their issues aside at this point (although I doubt it will last).

Speaking of finding your way look at Kristen go! I’m so excited for Kristen and her new nail polish line Pop of Color! I’ve been wearing it and it’s great. The polish really lasts and I get compliments all the time. The color ‘Blue Moon’ has been my go-to. And we’re neighbors at Ricky’s NYC since they also carry yummie! Kristen has been working hard on her new projects, as well as trying to understand a new friendship with Bethenny. Rejection is a natural emotion, and there just doesn’t seem to be any empathy on Bethenny’s end for her feelings. But as much as I like to fix, I think I’ll probably just stay out of this one! Till next week…

OK, I am just sick and tired of how NEEDY Kristen is.  I hate needy people.  Grow a backbone and move on.  I also don’t’ understand how these ladies are under the spell that makes them believe that because they are on this reality show, they are making new friends!  Remember The Real World on MTV how that was about putting 7 people of different backgrounds into a home and wait for shit to get real?  HW is similar although they don’t go out of their way to pick a diverse group.  HW does show that even on the upper east side you will find women of very different personalities, politics, moral and beliefs.

Kristen Taekman

“Why Is Bethenny Bad-Mouthing My Business?”

Kristen is confused as to how things got all amped up at dinner in the Berkshires.  Kristen observes Avery and Ramona together and likes that they can talk and be open with one another.

Bethenny’s brand summit! Wow! I I would have loved to have been there. It seems like one could have learned a lot! This is a perfect opportunity for Sonja–it’s great for her to see what her business could aspire to be!

I imagine the other RH are all green with envy when they see the empire that B has created.  Can anyone imagine Teresa in a meeting like this?

I’m thrilled to announce that I started a nail polish line called POP OF COLOR! Josh recently had a meeting with Ricky’s NYC who have been selling Eboost in their stores for years. My name came up and Josh came home and asked if I wanted to do a nail polish line! It’s crazy how some things happen.

Kristen loves nail polish.  I think it is important to love the thing you try to sell (Bethenny is SKINNY and loves it and sells her Skinnygirl line like a HBC).  She realizes asking Carole to help name some over her colors was going to be entertaining and agrees that sex sells.  We may see a Pop of Color polish names “Thrust”.  I can’t imagine what color that would be?  I am cringing just imagining this.

AOA–Merry Christmas all! When Carole shares a small but mighty piece of information with me…I just can’t hold it in any longer. Enough with beating around the damn bush with Bethenny! Why on earth is she bad-mouthing my business? The name is trademarked, thank-you-very-much! I felt that I should just confront Bethenny myself. Seriously, what’s the deal here? You barely speak to me to my face, but yet you have plenty to say behind my back? I really just don’t get it at all. And once I do approach her, she just dismisses me rudely and walks away! I have made the conscious decision that I don’t need any more friends!

First, I will say again, this was super bad on Carole’s part to plant this little seed then run away.  I think she did it on purpose.  If Kristen was her REAL friend, she never would have gone and shared this tidbit.  Very against girl-code.  I also don’t think Bethenny was bad-mouthing the business; she was commenting.  She thought she was having a private conversation with Carole (her mistake) and didn’t realize she was on the record.  Again, I would have walked away from Kristen, too but then I would have marched over to Carole and confronted her for spreading gossip.

Luann de Lusseps

“I Get Why Bethenny Has Walls Up”

Luann says she is so very glad that Bethenny showed up and finally hugged Heather.  She believes that Heather is coming from a good (albeit annoying) place.  She explains her toast but does not address her very rude comments about John (Class with the Countess is now on clearance).

I felt for Ramona when she picked up Avery from the airport excited to go to dinner and Avery told her that she first had to finish a paper — a paper that she could have worked on during her flight home but instead blew off to flirt with the cute boy sitting next to her. Cute boy…term paper…which would you choose at her age? As for Ramona asking Avery “what should she do about Mario pursuing her again?” — it felt awkward to me, yet Avery showed a lot of maturity when she said that Ramona has to do what is best for her.

I would have chosen the cute boy myself.  It was super weird that Ramona was asking Avery for advice.  I think Ramona wanted Avery to tell her to get back with her dad and then Ramona could tell everyone, “Well, my daughter really wanted us to give it another try!”  Avery, being mature beyond her years and showing us she is much more insightful than her parents, told her mom that she needed to what would make her happy and leave her out of it.

Bethenny showed a lot of class by letting Sonja sit in on her yearly Skinnygirl branding summit. I think Sonja was surprised that Bethenny’s partnering with some very large companies to distribute her products. Bethenny’s the real deal and I think you can see why she reaches her emotional limit when pushed too hard to confront the walls she puts up to protect herself.

I wonder if Luann every offered to allow Sonja to sit in a meeting with QVC and Luann?  Doubtful!

When Bethenny invited Ramona out for dinner, she didn’t realize that Ramona wanted beef, she just didn’t mean steak! She didn’t read the email all the way through I guess!! As for hitting a meat-market after dinner, Ramona clearly means of the male variety. She is uncomfortable with females one-on-one, even just talking about it grosses her out…I say, “to each her own.”

I don’t know about you ladies (or gentlemen) but I don’t go out to dinner with my girlfriends so I can gawk at men.  I go to eat and have GREAT conversation with my friends.  I guess that isn’t what happens in Ramona’s world.  Also, the conversations about girl-on-girl action was weird.  Ramona’s reaction was very childish.

Did Carole really have to tell Kristen about what Bethenny said regarding her copyright for Pop of Color? I think Kristen should go with her gut when naming her polishes and I think “Date Night” is a lot better than “Thrust”…way better. I’m happy for Kristen and I hope her new venture is a smashing success. As for Kristen approaching Bethenny at the AOA party, there is a right time for this type of conversation and for Bethenny this wasn’t the time. Again, Bethenny can only take so much and I was just having a heartfelt conversation about the state of her emotions before Kristen interrupted us.

Sounds like the Countess might offer Carole a free seminar on Class with the Countess on how not to spread gossip and start WWIII.  Also sounds like she could offer a seminar to Kristen on how not to confront people about idle gossip.

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